Sunday, January 30, 2011

So I Dated Loni Anderson

I got a little more exposure to the new guy we hired last Monday yesterday. The first couple of weeks of a new hire's life is one I'm not exposed to much quite frankly. For one, the newbie works exclusively with the boss for training purposes. Two, the boss doesn't want the newbie to pick up my bad habits, at least immediately.

He seems like a likable kid, and has a girlfriend who works in the mall as well. Yesterday was a slow day in the mall. Freezing rain kept most sane people off the road and at home. The boss, newbie hire, and I were just shooting the breeze when the newbie's girlfriend comes into the store on her break.

Gullibility ensued.

She walks up to me and introduces herself as Loni, states how much she's heard about me, and how pleased she is to meet me. Nice girl, but very gullible, along with newbie hire being gullible as well. The conversation is as follows:

Newbie Girlfriend: (walking up to me) Hi! I'm Loni, (newbie hire's girlfriend)
Me: Hi back. Weird, you're only the second person named Loni I've met in my life.
Newbie Girlfriend: Really?
Me: Yup.
Boss: Hey JPT, why don't you tell (Newbie Hire and Loni) about the first Loni you met.
Me: I don't think they'd be interested quite frankly.
Boss: C'mon, sure they would.
Newbie Girlfriend: Sure we would! I can't believe I'm the only second Loni you've ever met.
Newbie Hire: You might as well tell her about the first Loni, she 's just going to wonder how it's possible you've only met one before her.
Me: Huh.
Boss: Go ahead JPT. They'll be amazed by this one.

(Now the boss is just goading me on and wants a joke to be played here. I'm more than willing to play along at this point.)

Me: Well, the first Loni I ever met was Loni Anderson.
Newbie Girfriend: Are you kidding me?
Newbie Hire: Seriously?
Me: Wow, I'm impressed you know who that is. I figured you two were too young to know who that is.
Boss: Tell them the whole story.
Newbie Hire: Whole story?
Boss: He didn't just meet her. He knows her very well.
Newbie Girlfriend: You actually know her?
Me: Yup.
Newbie Girlfriend: Oh my gawd! You actually know a celebrity?
Boss: He sure does.
Newbie Girlfriend: That is awesome! How'd you ever meet her?
Me: Well, she's from Iowa (not really) and I lived there for several years (really) and we met at the state fair back in 1981.
Newbie Hire: Loni Anderson and you met at a fair?
Boss: They did, he's got pictures to prove it.
Newbie Hire: Seriously?
Me: Yup. She was doing some TV promo and I ended up getting a picture taken with her while she was there.
Newbie girlfriend: So you ended up being friends with her because of a picture?
Boss: Just tell them the whole story. You guys will be amazed.
Newbie girlfriend: There's more?
Me: I guess there's a little more.
Newbie Hire: Like what?
Boss: He dated Loni Anderson for almost a month.
Newbie Girlfriend: You've got to be kidding!
Me: It was only for about three weeks.
Newbie Hire: You dated Loni Anderson? How did a picture turn into a date?
Me: It wasn't just a picture. She's a huge fan of ferris wheel rides. I ran the ferris wheel that year at the fair.
Newbie Hire: You worked at the fair?
Me: That's just one of the jobs I've held. I gotta tell you, carnies get a bad rap.
Newbie Girlfriend: You were a carny?
Me: Not a full fledged one, but I operated the ferris wheel that year and Loni Anderson and I talked for a bit while she was waiting in line for a ferris wheel ride.
Newbie Girlfriend: That is so bizarre!
Me: It is, now that I think about it.
Newbie Hire: So how did this all turn into you dating her.
Me: When she got off the ferris wheel she asked me when I got off work. Jokingly, I told her any time she wanted me to. She then asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with her that evening and I said yes. That's basically how it started.
Newbie Hire: I'm not sure I believe this.
Me: Whatever.
Boss: I can tell you it's true. He has several pictures of them together doing a lot of things and in a lot of different places.
Newbie Girlfriend: So what happened?
Me: Well she was between a marriage and before hooking up with Burt Reynolds, who's an asshole by the way. I was simply a fling for her. A boy toy if you will. You have to remember I was only 21 and she was about 14 years older than me.
Newbie Hire: So, did you and her....?
Me: C'mon now. That's not the kind of thing I'd talk about.
Boss: They sure did!!
Me: Thanks boss.
Newbie Girlfriend: Wow, just wow! That had to be an exciting time in your life I'll bet.
Me: Some would say intoxicating.
Newbie Girlfriend: So what happened to end this?
Me: Burt Reynolds.
Newbie Girlfriend: No wonder you think he's an asshole!
Me: No wonder indeed.

That pretty much ended the conversation. Newbie hire and his girlfriend decided to go eat lunch. The boss and I chuckled quite a bit while Newbie hire was gone. I'm sure one of these days I'll have to explain to these gullible people that while it's true I've only met one other Loni in my life, it was my ex-sister-in-law, who was not Loni Anderson by any means. We'll see how long we can string them along though before that happens.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Why Yes, I Laughed, More Than Once

I freely admit to being easily amused at times. Perhaps more often than not. I also have a hard time feeling sorry for people who do silly and stupid things, then want compensated for it. In saying that, she probably does have grounds for a lawsuit in this incident though, just not based on her actions.

Walking and texting can be very complex, apparently. I wouldn't know because I don't text. This lady was so engrossed in her texting that she walked into a mall fountain and fell into said fountain. The most amusing part of this incident to me is the fact that she works in this mall and should probably have a good idea where the fountain is located.

The mall did fire the security officer responsible for the release of the footage so they acted properly here in my opinion.

Oddly enough this lady has also been charged with a crime herself, that pertains to her employment at the mall.  She was in court last Thursday due to being charged with theft in October of 2009. She's being charged with stealing a co-worker's credit card and charging approximately $5000.00 at two different local stores.

It's a crazy world, full of stupid and crazy people I guess.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

An Open Letter To Dennis Kucinich

Dear Dennis,

I feel your pain.


I've bitten into food and discovered something amiss as well. But I manned up, unlike you. The thought never crossed my mind to sue over a cracked tooth, especially to the tune of $150,000.00. I am curious about several things. Since this dastardly event happened almost three years ago, why the wait? Who determined the value of a cracked tooth at $150,000.00? Have you always been a wimp?

Unlike many Americans you, as a Democratic U.S. member of Congress, have excellent health insurance. No doubt this was adequately covered and the cracked tooth was taken care of, because shit like this happens in real life. Olives have pits Dennis, and an occasional one can slip through in a sandwich, to wreak the apparent horror you went through when you bit into that sandwich wrap a few years ago.

Only self-entitled wimps would consider suing the restaurant over this. Now had the dentist mutilated your mouth repairing your tooth I may have seen a lawsuit as a viable option. Since you're suing the restaurant and not the dentist I'm assuming he did a bang up job of putting that fake smile all politicians possess back on your face.

Your suit contends that among the things you lost are significant pain, suffering, and loss of enjoyment. What joy has been lost Dennis? What acts of enjoyment went missing in your life. I'm sorry to say some less than desirable acts come to mind here Dennis. Some of those acts, which perhaps you can no longer wrap your mouth around, are ones that I wish I wasn't wrapping my mind around. We'll just let it go at that Dennis.

Fair or not Dennis, democrats have a reputation for being soft on many issues. So thanks for confirming this in your own wimpy-ass fashion. I'm sure the state of Ohio is proud to have you serving their interests right now, as little as politicians seem to serve their constituents these days anyway.

In closing, should you ever consider a move to another state and want to represent them in Congress, I fervently wish to discourage you from a move to Wisconsin. We have enough of our own inadequate representatives in Congress as it is. We don't need to add a wimp into the mix.


Just Plain Tired

Link to news article.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Because You Never Know What Offends

Sports fans can be a nutty bunch. Not all of them, nor even a majority of them, but enough to cause logical people to pause and wonder what is wrong with people.

A Chicago area car salesman was fired for wearing a Green Bay Packers tie yesterday to work. From everything I've read and seen that is the only reason given for being fired. The owner of this car dealership said he feared backlash from customers and the Bears organization due to past promotions involving the Bears.

Sadly there's about as much validity, as there is lameness, involved with this decision. Should the guy have been fired? Probably not. Was he asked first to remove the tie, and refused? That I don't know. From a personal standpoint if I had been the guy's boss, or the owner of said car dealership, he probably wouldn't  have been fired.

From a business standpoint the salesman himself is wrong as well. He shouldn't be, but he is. (That makes sense, huh?) From a business standpoint the tie had to go though.

I've been in sales for a number of years. One of the first things I was taught was that you never know what can offend someone, so you don't wear any apparel sporting any type of logo, or verbiage, that can scuttle a potential sale. Seems silly, but sadly it's true. (Wearing logo from the company you actually work for is allowed naturally.) I've witnessed salespeople thrown out of nutty sports fans homes because they were wearing a shirt sporting the name of the team the home owner despises. Nutty sports fans buy things. Businesses do want their money.

My boss got a taste of this yesterday as well. In the four years I've known him he's been a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Every winter he's worn a heavy winter coat sporting that team logo. We live in Wisconsin and now that the Packers and Steelers are going to the Super Bowl all the nutty Packer fans are out in force. He ran our store's bank deposit over to the bank and received a ration of crap and name calling over the coat. Some good natured comments, but some down right nasty and threatening.

He went to leave work yesterday and we were standing at the front of the store shooting the breeze when a middle-aged couple walked past us. They stopped and asked him if he thought it was wise to wear that coat. They also assumed he wasn't from here. Once they heard he lived here and managed this store their comment was that they'd never shop at our store while he was employed here. That's how nutty some people are, and sadly businesses can't afford to alienate them. Or won't.

Now if I were the boss, would I leave this coat at home and wear another coat? No. If he had worn a tie, or shirt with a team logo, that would be different though. We actually have a company dress code which covers this, so it's not an issue. It's understood upfront, as silly as it may seem to be. And, from a business standpoint it makes sense sadly. But it's still a shame that people act this way over something as inconsequential as this.

Getting back to the car salesman in the Chicago area. He was offered, and accepted, another job at a different dealership today. He probably shouldn't have been fired in the first place. But while another place of business did hire him, I'm willing to bet they have a dress code in place which prohibits the tie from being worn, because they may despise this type of nutty behavior by sports fans, they still want their business.

Crap like this personally drives me insane, but I've accepted it as a part of doing business. My livelihood is based on making sales. It's simply safer and wiser to dress accordingly. Why invite more nuttiness in the sales process than necessary? We already have enough fruit loops enter the store as it is to deal with who act like idiots. I already deal with enough of them without adding nutty spots fans into the equation. My tolerance gets tested enough as it is, because I don't tolerate idiots very well.

Monday, January 24, 2011

We're Fully Staffed

Today, if he shows, we're finally fully staffed at work. I'm assuming the new guy will show since he called me yesterday, while I was at work, to confirm what time he should show up today. He was actually hired a few weeks ago but couldn't start until today. He wanted to give his old employer a two weeks notice then wanted a week to move here.

The hiring process where I work is oddly complex and amusing to me. Amusing to me due to how my boss approaches it anyway. He strives to keep new people away from me as long as possible. The new guy will go through a two week training process and I'll have little to no contact with him. It's kind of weird and makes sense at the same time.

He's a young guy, fresh out of college. Apparently he's good looking based on the opinions of all the girls who work in the mall and saw him when he was in for his interview. I know a number of them have bugged the hell out me over the last couple of weeks for information about him. They were less than pleased to find out that the only things I know about him is his first name and that he already has a girlfriend here who he is/has moved in with. I'm pretty sure a couple of them are scheming to break him up and try to devour him themselves.

We had a decent conversation and my hopes for another "Worthless Co-Worker" aren't looking too good for the blog, based on our conversation. Here's a snippet of our conversation:

New Guy: Is (store manager) in?
Me: Nope. He's gone for the day.
New Guy: I was wondering what time I should come in tomorrow.
Me: He didn't tell you?
New Guy: He said to call in today and he'd let me know.
Me: Oh. Well you'll be working his schedule for the first two weeks. Come in at 9:30 tomorrow morning.
New Guy: Do you think I should call him at home to confirm this?
Me: You can if you want.
New Guy: I thought he was going to be at work all day today.
Me: He was but the Steelers are playing, so he left early because he's a big fan of them.
New Guy: He's a Steeler fan? In Wisconsin?
Me: Yeah, there's no accounting for taste.
New Guy: I'm looking forward to meeting you. I've heard a lot about you.
Me: I'm sure you have.
New Guy: You know I've stopped in the store a couple of times wanting to meet you the last few weeks but you were never there.
Me: We'll meet tomorrow.
New Guy: (Store manager) says you're a good guy and that we'll gt along well.
Me: I'm sure we will.
New Guy: Will you be training me at all? (Store manager) says you're one of the top sales people in the company.
Me: Nope.
New Guy: No?
Me: (Store manager) does all the training. You'll be fine, he does a good job with the training.
New Guy: I was hoping I'd learn from the best.
Me: I'm not the best.
New Guy: Well, he says you are.
Me: He's a nice guy, and he's also a good friend. He'll train you well and you won't pick up on my bad habits.
New Guy: Your bad habits?
Me: Yes.
New Guy: He never mentioned anything about your bad habits.
Me: He will.
New Guy: That's weird.
Me: I used to think so too.
New Guy: But not any more?
Me: Nope. I do have bad habits.
New Guy: So he's okay with your bad habits?
Me: Yes.
New Guy: So he puts up with your bad habits?
Me: Yes. Let me explain a bit here. He wants you to learn the sales process by the book. It's a good process and everything you learn, and the order of the sales process, is important. I kind of do my own thing and it's effective. About the only thing the boss would want you to pay attention to, that I do, would be closing a sale. 
New Guy: So you don't follow the sales process?
Me: Yes and no.
New Guy: You're not a lot of help.
Me: That's why I'm not training you. You'll be just fine.
New Guy: So (store manager) doesn't get upset with how you do things?
Me: Rarely. For everything he'd get irritated with, I do many more things he's happy with.
New Guy: Well, okay. I won't tell him we had this talk.
Me: Feel free to share it with him.
New Guy: Seriously?
Me: Yup. (Store manager) and I have a good working relationship and we're pretty open here. He's going to tell you the same thing over the next two weeks anyway.
New Guy: You know I worked in sales before. It's kind of dog eat dog.
Me: That won't work here. 
New Guy: (Store manager) said the same thing. I'm hoping that's true.
Me: Here's the one thing I'll tell you that the boss will agree with. If you put the store sales goal ahead of your own personal sales goal you'll be just fine. What I've learned is that if the store is doing well, generally everyone is doing well. If you only concentrate on your own personal goal with no regard to the other people you work with, over the long run you'll end up with less sales, and less income. We work with each other and help each other out. We don't begrudge anyone else doing well. It's a team effort.
New Guy: Boy I hope that's true.
Me: It is true. You're the only one who can screw that up because the boss and I are on the same page with this concept.
New Guy: So no backstabbing, no stealing sales, sales leads, none of that stuff?
Me: None.
New Guy: Man , that's great!
Me: It is. Anything else you need to know?
New Guy: I don't think so.
Me: Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon.

I'm thinking he's going to work out just fine. He was articulate and friendly on the phone. I'm also sure he's going to have a few bad habits of his own. He just doesn't need to pick up any from me.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Absurdity Runs Amok

Absurdity is in these days. (Some people, including myself, may actually substitute the word stupidity for absurdity in many cases.)

While I'm a sports fan there's no way the football game between the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers is worth the money people are shelling out to attend this game in Chicago today. Tickets that normally sell for $134.00 are now selling, and being gobbled up, for as much as $2000.00.

These people are going to pay up to $2000.00 for three to four hours of sitting out in the cold, in less than stellar seating I might add, from the report I read. It's a shame that people with that much disposable income can't find a better way to spend that money in my opinion.

This is a game I wouldn't mind seeing myself. From the comfort of my home that is, and for free, with a better view of the action as well. Instead, I'll be working today, which pays the bills around here and puts food on the table. While I fervently favor one team in this game, my life is going to be just fine, no matter the outcome of the game. I just don't see the logic of shelling out that kind of money when so many better things could be done with it. Every person shelling out this amount of money would still be able to see the game, in more comfortable surroundings, and do some good by donating this money to a good cause.

Justin Bieber gets a haircut every two weeks. This probably isn't a great revelation in itself. It's the cost of the haircut that's truly insane. This kid shells out $750.00 every two weeks for a trim. The kid has a classic bowl cut in every picture I've seen of this over hyped phenomenon.

I'm a fan of a decent haircut myself. Cost Cutters or Master Cut sees me about once a month and I've never been upset with any cut I've received to date. Bieber lays out more money in one month than I do in five years for a hair cut. Another case of disposable income run amok.

I saw an article the other day that has people debating whether Obama dyes his hair. The article showed two recent pictures of him, one showing plenty of grey, the other showing jet black hair. I'm not sure where the debate comes into play here, or why people care so much. Common sense itself should indicate that the guy didn't just wake up with no grey one day. He had it dyed, let's move on to things that are probably more important to debate/wonder about.

Jessie James, the motorcycle dude, is getting married again. He's hooking up with some tattoo'd freak of nature named Kat Von D. This is the guy who cheated on Sandra Bullock. He stated that "I made a big mistake. I was wrong and I can't change it. I wish people would give me a second chance. I won't need a third chance."

Now personally I don't care who he's marrying again. Just based on what I've seen and heard of these two people, them hooking up is doing society a favor and saving two other people. But this whole "not needing a third chance" bit seems to be a little absurd when you're staring at your 4th marriage. I dunno, maybe the guy just can't count. Of course this is also the guy who stated, "Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own." Classy guy all around.

Now that I think about it, what was wrong with Bullock when she married this idiot in the first place? Maybe she didn't know that by becoming his third wife, she was replacing a porn star that was his second wife. That might have been a clue into his character for her to think about before she hooked up with him in the first place.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Not As Bad Of A Day As I Expected

As some of you know I went ice fishing yesterday. Well, that's not quite true, you only have my word that I went ice fishing, it's impossible for strangers to really know, unless you witnessed it. For those of you that read my previous post you know I whined a bit about going ice fishing yesterday. There was a healthy dose of dread on my part.

I'm not especially fond of winter weather. We left my place at about 7:00 am and the temperature was -16F with a wind chill reported at -25F to -30F. I'm happy to report my survival, not only my survival but I stayed warm. The money I spent on Thursday on gear paid off handsomely. My son even contributed to my warm gear when he showed up at my place yesterday morning with a winter weather hat thing-a-ma-bob which covered my entire head, with the exception of my eyes. He called it a belated birthday gift as I had just turned 51 last Tuesday.

We have an ice shanty with three portable heaters so I wasn't worried about being too cold during the actual fishing part of the day. My fear of becoming a block of frozen humanity had more to do with the hour we'd spend walking to the fishing hole and set up of the shanty. I was delighted to stay warm during this part of the event.

We spent approximately six hours fishing. The temperature inside the ice shanty was toasty. Almost too warm, but the kid knew I was paranoid about getting cold. We caught a lot of fish. Mostly crappie, perch, and oddly a bass or two. When we left the ice the temperature had risen to -2F. As warmly as we were dressed that seemed almost tropical when compared to the start of the day.

I can safely say that cold weather won't be a factor when we go again. Naturally another dreadful factor has sprung up though. More dastardly than cold weather.

I am woefully out of shape, and 32+ years of smoking has taken its toll. Hauling approximately 200 pounds of ice shanty and fishing equipment between the two of us kind of sucked. Hell, I was wearing about two tons of clothes in addition to what we were hauling around. The kid enjoyed ribbing the old man about, well, getting old and out of shape actually.

(And you know you're getting old when you threaten to kick the kids' ass and he just laughs at you, and continues to shoulder two-thirds of the workload as you wheeze along side of him. Healthy, young, little shit anyway.)

The day ended perfectly. Usually Friday's are my day to babysit my granddaughter. Since we spent the day fishing that didn't happen. About two hours after getting home my son brought her over to my place to see me. Now that was a perfect way to end the day.

But back to the ice fishing.

I'm now thinking I may need to quit smoking, and maybe make an effort to get back into shape. I was truly shocked with my "performance" yesterday. It was quite a wakeup call on how smoking has affected me when pushed to perform some relatively heavy labor. Yesterday pretty much kicked my ass in a physical sense. I've had fleeting thoughts in the past about quitting smoking. Now they're a bit more serious.

Naturally, as I'm an idiot, I typed that last paragraph while actually smoking. As I always like to find a "silver lining" in most situations, this shows I still have the ability to multi-task I guess. Pretty lame, huh?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Pray For My Warmth Tomorrow Please

My son called me earlier today. He was wanting to know if I had seen the latest forecast for tomorrow.

I had. Repeatedly actually.

I didn't share his excitement though. He was thrilled that the weather forecast was now only calling for a low of -14F, rather than the -16F previously forecast.

We're going ice fishing tomorrow. While I like to fish, I'm not a fan of ice, unless it's in the cooler keeping my diet Coke cold. But the kid is persistent and decided since I'm not going to get a weekend day off from work until mid February he took a vacation day tomorrow since I'm off then.

I think I'm prepared, as dreadfully prepared as one can be anyway.

I got off work last night at 9:00 pm and decided that maybe a stop at Walmart wouldn't hurt. New gloves, a snowsuit, and warmer winter boots were on my mind. Walmart sucks. (Unless you think accomplishing a third of your goal a success.) An acceptable snowsuit was found at a decent price. ($29.99) I like 50% off sales. Saving $30 bucks is never a bad thing. But they had no boots nor gloves that would suit my needs.

As I was off today I ran out to Gander Mountain. They're never rarely out of shit. The reason for this is they're usually pretty expensive so when it comes to winter clothing they're the last outfit in town to run out of it. They didn't let me down in this respect. I'm much poorer due to them not letting me down actually.

One pair of boots - $109.00 (The little sales twerp pointed out they were $80.00 off repeatedly as I stared them down for perhaps ten minutes.) I bought them and as he was prepared to utter how great a price this was, for the eleven-teenth time, I cut him off. I may have muttered about shoving one of them up his ass on Saturday if my feet ended up frozen blocks of ice on Friday.

Next up, gloves.

Apparently my mumbling threats didn't scare off the little sales twerp because he followed me over to the gloves/mittens section. He was like an encyclopedia of glove knowledge. After listening to him ramble on for a few minutes I chose a pair of gloves ($39.99). He seemed pleased with my choice and only told me once that I was saving $10.00, as they were 20% off and normally $49.99. (Maybe that boot to ass threat mumble was on his mind.)

"What's up next", he asked after the choosing of the gloves ceremony.

I told him I was just going to meander over to the ice fishing equipment aisle. So off we go, me and my adopted little sales twerp. I have to admit the kid was growing on me at this point. I can usually differentiate between a salesperson whose trying to up sell, or is just genuinely being helpful. He was just trying to be helpful.

So we get over to that aisle and he's uncharacteristically quiet. He finally admitted that ice fishing wasn't something he knew a lot about. Me either, I told him, which seemed to brighten him up a bit. I then asked him to tell me what's been selling well in this aisle. That got him back on track.

I picked out a few things and as we proceeded up to the checkout he asked me if I was serious about the whole boot in the ass comment. I told him he had earned a reprieve. The worst thing that could happen was me shoving his head in a snowbank. He seemed to feel this was the lesser of two evils himself. Pretty nice kid.

On an entirely different note, what is unknown precipitation? I've been a little obsessed with checking the weather online today and that was listed as occurring. I looked out the window to see it was snowing. Apparently today snow is considered "unknown precipitation."

All I know is that I spent almost $200.00 today, most of it in an effort to be warm tomorrow. I don't even care if we catch any fish as long as I stay warm.

Monday, January 17, 2011

When A Fatal Tragedy Offers Life To Another, People Are Still Idiots

The tragedy in Arizona shows how far our country has spiraled down in this instance. The youngest victim, Christina Green, was an organ donor. It was reported that some of her organs were donated to a young girl near Boston. (Original news article here.)

The amazing thing to me about this article is that the parents of this young girl even had the thought process, in their grief, to think about the good their dead daughter's organs would be for another person. I can't imagine the pain of the loss of a child. I'm not sure I could have thought coherently enough myself if I were the parent in this case. My grief may not have allowed it.

This news article has sparked thousands of comments. Many wonderful supportive comments. Sadly, just as many evil sadistic comments from uneducated animals. It's appalling to see the venom and stupidity spewed by so many people. Below are just a few of the comments I've run across (My commentary follows in italics):

1) With this little girl being killed at 9 years of age, means she will have a much smaller carbon foot print then she would have had had she lived a full life.

Like it or not your children's air will be a little cleaner because of the death of Christiana Green.

Personally I'm hoping I never meet this person. The air they spew has to be among the foulest of human kind with the way they think.

2) That child should have been in school instead of attending a political rally.

Another mental giant here. Saturday isn't a school day.

3) Jared Loughner did us two favors by taking out a corrupt politician now and a corrupt politician of the future.

The death of an innocent child is considered a favor?

4) Everyone has to die.

Um, you first?

5) ...and next, the parents are going to petition the church and attempt to make her a saint! Honestly, I'm tired of hearing about this kid. She was a 9 year old who was brainwashed by her parents into attending a liberal rally and thinking that it's ok to steal money from hardworking people and give it away to people who don't want to work. She would have grown up and leached off the government just like all the other liberals. 

Please just put her to rest already so we don't have to hear about what a martyr she was!

Ah yes, someone who can see into the future and predict how a nine year old girl would have lived her life. I thought Cleo was off the air for many years until now.

6) This 9-year-old, little piece of disturbed junk got what she was asking for, and I'm glad she was killed. After all, she brought it on herself by not wearing a bulletproof vest to the Giffords event! What nut refuses to wear a vest to such an event? Oh my gosh! She may as well have just shot herself. For that stupidity of not expecting the impossible occurrence of encountering a shooter, this little punk paid with her life, which is good. That should teach all other 9-year-olds about thinking ahead of time a little bit more.

The question should be what nut carries around a gun and kills people. Using this person's logic (logic being used loosely here) we all should be wearing bullet proof vests when out in public. There is no "good" when a child is murdered moron.

7) Awesome!

"Aspiring politician" hahaha. sure that ugly loser would have gotten anything in her life just because she was born on 9/11. most of you idiots would have voted for her. so thanks, Jared, for preventing a real tragedy that could have happened!

Look in the mirror when you're hankering to see ugly asshole.

8)  she's in a better place, a cold, damp coffin. thank you god.

I can't even respond to this one.

There are hundreds of comments like the above ones, or worse, in response to this article. It's unbelievable the depravity of people.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

A Twitter Trend Is Probably To Blame

Why I decided to wake up at 4:12 am is a mystery. What force of nature would cruelly interrupt a blissful slumber like that? Unfortunately once awakened, after getting more than 4 hours of sleep, I learned long ago not to fight it and to simply get up. I'm not going to fall back to sleep.

But there had to be a reason for this awakening.

Was it the euphoria of the Packer victory last night?

Nah. While the Packers are one of my favorite teams I'm not obsessed with sports.

Was it the fact that there are a few dishes sitting in the sink in need of washing?

Again, nah, that isn't anything extraordinary here. I think one bowl, a dinner plate, and two spoons in need of washing can't possibly be responsible. I just can't drum up any guilt for unwashed dishes.

Was it the fact that I may have consumed one too many diet Coke's prior to going to bed last night?

This may be closer to the truth, but again, not exactly something new. But definitely something to consider. But it just didn't feel right.

I fired up the computer and perused through the sports section. Nothing overly exciting happening there. I read a few financial pages, hoping boring crap like that would tire me out. Total failure for that thought process.

I glanced at Twitter and finally hit upon the reason for being awakened. One of the "Top Trends" listed was "RIP JUSTIN BIEBER."

I have to tell you euphoria set in.

Not that I wished the kid dead by any means. I knew it was a hoax without investigating it. But there was a great amount of amusement on my part to see little teeny bopper girls, who should be asleep themselves, all wrapped up in the trend.

But I looked at this as a win/win situation for me today.

One win would be if the kid was actually dead the mall would be empty of air-headed annoying teeny bopper girls today when I go to work. They'd all be sitting at home in their bedrooms staring blankly at their Justin Bieber posters crying their little eyes out.

The other win, which I'm sure Bieber would be more on board with, is that this hoax of a trend would still keep these little piss ant air-headed girls out of the mall as well today. I'm positive they'll stay on the computer venting their wrath about the cruelty of this hoax all day long.

Either way, it's a win for me. So Justin, dead or alive, have a restful and peaceful day. I'm hoping the same for myself.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm Still Alive

I'm still alive despite efforts yesterday to kill me, or at the very least injure me.

We're well into winter here. Well enough into as a matter of fact, that most people should be used to all aspects of winter by now. We had the snowiest December on record. January's snow fall has tapered off from last month but we've still gotten more as well. Yesterday was no exception as two inches were added.

Sadly, a significant portion of the driving population that was out and about yesterday haven't a clue how to drive properly and safely when the roads are snow and/or ice covered. I saw more stupidity yesterday and accidents than I thought possible in a one day period. Usually it's the first snow day when this occurs, which occurred back in November.

I managed to get home alive yesterday from running errands and grocery shopping. I spent the evening thinking about the number of accidents I saw, and narrowly avoided myself, and came up with a few possible reasons why people were morons on the road yesterday.

1) Weird migration patterns. While January isn't normally a month people choose to move I thought maybe this year was different. Maybe people from the southern states fell in love with Wisconsin and couldn't wait for warmer weather to move and a bunch of them recently moved here and can't drive in winter conditions.

2) Snowbirds. With the economy still poor maybe the people who have the means to flee Wisconsin for Florida or Arizona stayed home this year due to the lack of funds. Since they normally don't stick around here in winter months they're probably poor winter drivers as well.

3) Alcohol. Hey, Wisconsin is known to harbor a significant portion of the drinking population and maybe happy hour started much earlier yesterday than usual. Wisconsin also has very lenient drinking and driving laws when compared to surrounding states. It's hard for outsiders to notice someone from Wisconsin is drunk until you see them sober, which is an infrequent event.

4) Astrology or Zodiac nonsense.  Many people seemed to be in an uproar about the changes in this nonsensical business. Maybe it affected their driving. Of course people who put their faith in a bunch of mumbo-jumbo like the astrological signs in the first place would be suspect drivers in any weather as far as I'm concerned.

We're supposed to get more snow later today. Not a significant amount, but yesterday's snow wasn't either. I've got my granddaughter babysitting gig to attend to though. If it wasn't such a pain in the ass I'd have my daughter-in-law bring the kid over here today so that I didn't have to contend with idiots on the road. But then I'd be putting my granddaughter out amongst them. So not a good idea.

(Also, if I watch the granddaughter here the mess we make happens here and I'd be the one to have to clean it up. I'm much fonder of making the mess at their place, where I just laugh at my son when he comes home from work and looks at the disaster the granddaughter and I create.)

So I'll be venturing out later today among the idiots myself. Winter sucks.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Scarecrows Are Meant To Be Seen And Not Heard

The scarecrow in this instance is Sarah Palin.

The news has been dominated by the tragedy in Arizona the last few days. No surprise there. When a fruit loop kills and/or wounds twenty people it's not an insignificant event. There are people who feel Sarah Palin and her actions and rhetoric are somewhat responsible for this tragedy as well.

No one knows, at least as of yet, what drove Jared Loughner to do this. This guy is mentally unstable and what drove him to commit this heinous act could have a variety of factors involved. He may very well have been influenced by the rhetoric and actions of Sarah Palin, or not. There's enough hateful rhetoric spewed by all politicians to go around, especially over the last decade. Political and Religious rhetoric have simply gotten out of hand, and we've allowed it to happen. Politicians know this type of campaigning works, and that's what is truly shameful about the election process in this country. People buy into the rhetoric.

Sarah Palin isn't presidential material. I can easily say that despite the fact that I don't disagree with everything she spouts off about. She's very fond of telling us what is wrong in America, and there are things wrong in America today. Hell, that's easy to say. What I've never heard her utter is solutions to fixing what is wrong in America though. She's all rhetoric and sound bite.

(And, before going any further, I'm no fan of Obama either. He was simply the better choice in the last election, yet a poor choice at the same time.)

Sarah Palin is no more qualified to be a president than I am. And I'm not qualified in any way, shape, or form. But I do know there are several things I don't want in a president, as follows:

1) I don't want a president who quits when the going gets rough. Palin couldn't even finish a term as a governor, why would we expect that she could adequately do a much more demanding job? If she couldn't hack running a sparsely populated state how could she hack running a nation?

2) I don't want a reality TV star running my country. It's just simply not presidential.

3) I don't want someone who feels it was a great idea to post gun sight images on her web site(s) over congressional districts, or opposing politicians. Whether this was a factor in the tragedy in Arizona or not. Someone who aspires to be president shouldn't be this stupid and not know that this could possibly incite violence and unwanted actions. It was a childish maneuver period.

4) I want a presidential candidate with real solutions, not simply hateful rhetoric. It's easy to spout off about problems and not have any concrete solutions to problems. She's not wrong in stating that we have problems here. But everyone and anyone can do that. Someone who aspires to be president has to have solutions though.

Sadly, we haven't had a great, or even good president in quite some time. What's even sadder is that we've allowed this to happen. Apparently our expectations in the leader(s) of our country isn't too high. Personally I think we, as a country, can take some responsibility in the tragedy in Arizona. We've allowed politicians from all spectrum's to spew hateful vitriolic rhetoric. We've bought into it. Doesn't say too much about our intelligence or expectations does it?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Where A Handshake Can Go Wrong

Being young, single, and in search of love in Somalia recently took a hit. Somali Islamists have banned unrelated men and women from shaking hands. They've also banned them from speaking to each other and walking together as well. Courtship isn't a high priority in this society.

But there is some good news to report. Somalians are still free to hi-jack oil tankers and demand ransoms, thus stimulating their economy. They still have the freedom to kill, kidnap, and torture foreign aid workers delivering food to the poor of their country. After all, who wants to keep people from starving to death?

I think I could get on board and support this handshaking ban though. After all it is the flu season and the less handshaking the better as far as spreading the flu goes. Hungry and starving people are especially prone to illness as well. So there's no sense in encouraging handshakes. Rumor also has it crazy Islamists don't wash their hands after potty breaks. Who wants to shake their hands anyway?

Naturally I may have to rethink this if Somalia doesn't have a flu season. The whole not washing your hands after taking a piss though should be sufficient enough reason not to shake hands if that were the case.

These extreme Islamists take this ban seriously though. When they're not cruising the high seas in search of oil tankers to hi-jack the punishments rendered have ranged from public whippings, imprisonment, and even executions. They actually stop traffic and search buses and cars looking for these violations. Now that's dedication, huh?

Prior to this latest ban they also have banned women from working in public, thus ensuring an ever increasing population shoved deeper into poverty and going ever more hungry. This has been a smashing success as more foreign aid workers are needed to supply food to an increasingly starving population, thus ensuring they have an adequate supply of foreign aid workers to kill and torture.

Another thought just occurred to me about this latest ban. Maybe, just maybe, these Islamic terrorists aren't the homophobic assholes we've always thought they are. By banning men and women from shaking hands, walking together, and speaking to one another they're actually developing an alternative life style for their population. If they were to develop more homosexual relationships among their population the birth rate would drop and less people would be starving to death. Maybe there's a method to their madness after all.


they're just simply power hungry terrorists bent on keeping women considered as 2nd, or even 3rd class citizens. They could simply be insecure and crazy men, taking from some accounts, a peaceful religion, and obscenely turning it upside down and perverting it to suit their own hateful way of life. Smart money would in all probability go with this theory.

Saturday, January 8, 2011


I have yet to experience writer's block when it comes to blogging. I do experience a blockage of sorts though, especially this time of the year. It's called depression I suspect.

Once the holidays pass and winter sets in firmly I gear down. I detest January and February. Too little sun and too much cold for my liking. It seems to worsen as I age. There are very few winter activities I want to participate in. There are outdoor activities I like, such as (warm weather) fishing, golfing, and biking, to name a few. None of these mesh well with winter weather though.

I consider myself a simplistic person. Not simple by any means, nor overly complex either. My mind never ceases to ponder things. This time of year my mind tends to force out the goofy though. I think about serious topics not as heavily thought about during the other ten months of the year I favor over January and February. This doesn't bode well for a blog which has generally been kept lighthearted. The rants about work and idiot customers, while an annoyance to some degree, always have an element of amusement to me, and hopefully for you poor souls as well, who take the time to read the nonsense I fling around in here.

I seem to see life differently this time of year. Although the life I see now probably isn't much different than it is during other parts of the year, I dwell on the negatives much more. My view of society, politics, religion(s), justice, and other worldly matters turn darker. I alternate between anger and sadness at what occurs in the world much more often this time of year than over the rest of the year.

Crimes seem more senseless and heinous this time of year. Politicians incur my wrath more readily this time of year. Religion(s) appear more sinister this time of year. Justice makes little to no sense as it's rendered this time of the year.

I wonder why much more. Why do we sweep certain problems under the rug? Why do we accept that we can't change things for the better? I wonder why we don't get more involved in real problem solving? I wonder why we don't acknowledge that by allowing certain things to happen why we don't accept responsibility for it ourselves? What prevents us from shedding apathy? When do we say enough is enough? What's the balance to showing empathy and telling someone to get their act together when too much empathy is shown, thus becoming an enabler to problems not getting solved?

As an example I see and know people whose tolerance for gay rights is nonexistent. They'll shout from the mountain tops about how bad it is. They'll attend anti-gay rallies. They'll discriminate against this segment of the population. But why do they do this? What is it they fear? What exactly is this segment of the population doing that interferes with their life in any way? Why is it they show no tolerance for this segment of the population, but tolerate so many other issues and problems we face in society. Why don't they devote the same energy in solving other problems? Why do people worry about what's happening between the sheets between two consenting adults and not show the same level of concern for starving children, homeless people, genocide occurring around the world, crazy countries developing nuclear weapons, etc?

In short, why are we willing to accept less as a society, of society in itself? How far does society need to sink before we're willing to step in and fix it? Most people know right from wrong. Most people do the right thing day after day. But is that enough?

We're without a doubt the most intelligent species on the planet. Why can't we direct this intelligence in finding real solutions? As the most intelligent species why do we tolerate so much that is wrong in the world? The good in society outweighs the bad in society. Why won't we step up? Why don't I step up for that matter?

My apologies for those expecting the usual nonsense they see in here. As I stated before my mind works a little differently this time of the year. There's an over abundance of thoughts tumbling through my head to write about, just not the normal drivel you're accustomed to seeing. I'll do my best to limit it though.

Thanks for your tolerance, if you've gotten this far.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Can't Decide If People Piss Me Off Or Sadden Me

People bother me lately. I'm totally confused with the stupidity, rudeness, and self entitlement exhibited by people I've run into the last week or so.

Example One:

The entrance to the mall where I work has three receptacles for cigarette butts. Three receptacles which see very little use. One on each side of the doors entering the mall and one located next to a bench people use while waiting for the city bus to come. They're not hidden and they're strategically placed for ease of use.

When I'm outside I'll see people walking up to enter the mall glance around looking for a place to put out their cigarettes and despite the fact that there are three receptacles in sight they still throw them down at their feet as they enter the mall. I've even pointed them out as I see people looking for a place to put out their butts and they still throw them down on the ground. They can't seem to be bothered with veering to their left, or right, a couple of steps to properly dispose them. 'Effin pigs.

Example Two:

Handicapped parking has become a joke. We have ample handicapped parking and quite frankly most of the people using it have no business using it. They deny the spaces for people who genuinely need it. Mall walkers are the biggest abusers of these parking spaces. Many of them make 5 "laps" around the mall which encompasses walking approximately 3 miles and they have to park in a handicapped space? Sorry, in my opinion if you can walk 3 miles daily you don't need to park in a handicapped spot.

I've seen people park in these spots and get out of their cars and literally run into the mall as well. I told one person a few days ago that I wished I was as handicapped as she was. She could outrun me. This went totally over her head. My guess is she was simply driving someone else's car with the handicapped plates and took advantage of the parking space, thus denying the space to someone who truly needs it.

I know there are people who are truly disabled and need these parking spaces. My guess is that 50% of people who have a handicapped plate/sticker don't deserve it. It's too easy to go to a doctor and whine about a "disability" and get approved for a handicap plate/sticker. We've become a nation of wimps, self entitled wimps at that.

Example Three:

We had an idiot customer enter the store on Wednesday. (C'mon people, you had to know an idiot customer was going to appear here, right?)

While I say idiot customer he didn't buy anything in our store. He had to stop in and complain about our company because he bought one of our products at another store approximately 75 miles from us. In his opinion we are a shifty and deceptive retail store and have ripped him off.

His complaint?

We have a referral program that if you buy our product and recommend our product to someone else, and they buy as well, (and keep product), you earn gift certificates. There's no limit to the program. We've had numerous people use this program and I've had people come in the store with $200 worth of gift certificates to use for referring people to our products. Quite frankly it's a nice program.

This mental giant of course didn't think so. He told me he had personally sent a dozen people into our store in the last month alone and had never gotten credit for a gift certificate. When I asked him for names he provided me with 4 names. At this point I was taking him relatively seriously, so I looked up the four names in our system and they weren't there.

I then asked him what they bought here. His reply, "Nothing."

Well, Mr. Rocket Scientist Customer, they have to buy something. This was explained to him and he went off the deep end. It was an incredible moment of stupidity on display. I asked him if he really believed that just by sending someone into the store that he was going to get something, for nothing? Apparently so. When I asked him if he read the terms of the policy he said yes, and that he fully understood them, and we were out to "screw" him over. I couldn't even get mad at this guy. I just simply told him to leave, and maybe reread the policy, that he actually signed as a part of his receipt.

So he leaves the store and sits on a bench in front of our store and every 1 or 2 minutes starts shouting to people walking by not to enter our store because we're evil, the devil, shysters, etc.... We were honestly amused by this as were most people walking by it appeared. Mall security finally walked by and asked the guy to leave the mall.

The only thing I can come up with is that Darwin's Theory has in itself become obsolete. Modern science/medicine has kept dumb people alive much longer than they should have survived with the stupidity they possess.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Things At Work Are Looking Up

After yesterday's post this update will seem anti-climatic, at least in my opinion.

The payroll situation was actually resolved before I went to work. The boss once again surprised me and impressed me. After he got off the phone with me he called his boss about the situation, who then called his boss in the corporate office to get to the bottom of the 10 day old missing paycheck.

This regional vice-president then investigated, in stealth mode apparently. She checked the outgoing mail from the payroll department for the day and lo and behold there was a paycheck located in the stack with my home address in it. (The very same paycheck that the payroll clerk told me and my boss was mailed December 23rd.)

She then pulled the payroll check from the stack, took it to her assistant with orders to have it sent overnight by UPS to our store location to ensure that I'd have my now 11 day old paycheck in hand later today.

She then proceeded to confront the payroll clerk about the situation and the payroll clerk lied to her as well stating that the paycheck had been mailed December 23rd. Apparently this didn't go over well and the payroll clerk is in hot water now. (I'm assuming she may have been fired, but as the boss and I are low on the totem pole we were just simply told the problem has been fixed.)

I received a call from the regional vice-president yesterday afternoon at work and she apologized to me for the oversight and ensured me that this wouldn't happen again. She was very nice, and seemed genuinely distraught about this situation.

When I got off the phone with her, and the boss and I were talking, his boss called and talked to me. I like this guy and I've known him for about 5 years longer than my boss has. We've always gotten along well. He let me in a something I wasn't even aware of, nor something I'd never even thought about.

In the approximately nine years I've worked for the company I've never missed a yearly sales goal. This I knew naturally. I've missed an occasional monthly sales goal though over the years. What I didn't know was that in 2009, the worst year in retail in recent history, I was in the top 15 in sales company wide. Out of approximately 3500 salespeople nationwide there were less than 40 salespeople who exceeded their yearly sales goal. I pretty much thought 2009 sucked myself and I barely made goal that year coming in at 107% to goal. (I had to look that up after the call.) Apparently they want to keep me around for awhile, which is nice, because I really do like my job.

So this problem is resolved, unless I don't receive the check today.

The other reason things are looking up at work is that we've finally hired someone contingent on them passing a background check, which should happen. He'll be starting on January 24th so I'm thinking by early February he'll be fully trained and work hours will get back to normal.

So overall, not a bad day after all.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Feeling Poorly

I get paid every two weeks.

Scratch that.

I'm supposed to get paid every two weeks.

A few months ago my paycheck was delayed, along with the (ex)Worthless Co-Workers. At that time this was a minor annoyance to me and a life shattering event to the (ex)Worthless Co-Worker. The payroll department blamed it on the postal service, which may have been the reason for all I know. That incident caused the (ex)Worthless Co-Worker to lose her mind. (What little she possessed anyway.) She thoroughly pissed off everyone in the payroll department with wild accusations of why she didn't receive her paycheck. Sadly comical.

I can't honestly totally buy into blaming the postal service though myself. The (ex)Worthless Co-Worker and I lived in different towns so that would mean two different postal offices would have been involved in this dastardly conspiracy. We did both receive our checks though about 2 days later after informing payroll about the lack of funds. My guess is they simply forgot to mail them and when notified about it someone noticed them sitting somewhere in the payroll department, then threw them in the mail.

Neither she nor I had made use of direct payroll deposit, so our checks were mailed to us. Hers was mailed because her credit was so bad that no bank would let her have a checking account. I simply like paper paychecks and waiting an additional day or two is no big deal to me.

I may have to rethink that now.

My last payday was Friday. Meaning Friday, of the Christmas Eve variety. Like ten days ago. Since they mail payroll checks on Thursday nights I wasn't too concerned with the lack of a paycheck for a few days, holidays and all. I figured I'd have to wait until last Tuesday at the latest for a check to arrive.

Tuesday arrived, right on schedule, but no check.

Wednesday arrived, as it always does after a Tuesday, but no check.

Slight concern crowded my mind, but I remembered from the last incident that in the payroll policy it states somewhere to allow a week for a check to arrive before whining to payroll about a lack of a paycheck. No problem.

Thursday arrived. A day off for me. (Gotta love days off.)

And as you've probably already guessed, no paycheck. Moderate concern now. Hey, I'm not a rich guy by any means and I'd just spent a truckload of money on Christmas. I was feeling a bit of a cash crunch. Still not quite an earth shattering event though. Since I was off and knew no one in corporate would be working on Friday I called the boss and asked him to call corporate to inform them that I hadn't been paid yet, and to look around and see if maybe they had forgotten to mail it. Since last payday was Christmas Eve I figured things were probably hectic for that department and getting them into the mail just may have been overlooked. I fully realize mistakes can be made and shit happens.

He dutifully calls and no one is there. They left at noon to start the New Year's weekend early apparently.

Friday arrived and yet again, no paycheck.

So Monday (today) rolls around and I get a phone call from the payroll department based off the message the boss left for them last Thursday. The lady was a total bitch. Apparently she had me confused with the (ex)Worthless Co-Worker, or the boss left a nasty message last week. In her opinion it's my fault for not receiving my check because I don't do direct deposit. (Just when I was thinking about going that route her attitude about it probably  has me not electing to go that way now.) She informed me how hard it is to mail a paycheck. When I asked how much harder it could be than sending a copy of the paycheck to everyone, regardless if they have direct deposit it or not, she totally flipped out. They mail a pay stub to everyone. I also pointed out that my boss had received, in the mail, his pay stub, and he does direct deposit.

After her tirade about me not joining the 21st century and doing direct deposit she asked me what I wanted her to do.

Well, 'effin duh, pay me, perhaps?

I remained civil, surprisingly so. My boss is a little nervous though. He knows how I normally react to bitches/assholes.

I informed the bitch that I would check my mail tonight when I get home from work and if it wasn't there I'd call her tomorrow and they'd have to resend it, then I hung up without waiting for a reply from her. Naturally I'm the bad guy here because within 10 minutes of me hanging up the boss calls me and asked why I hung up on this bitch. She apparently lit into him and told him a bunch of bs about our phone call. Seething, I told him exactly went on with this crazy bitch.

I almost hope there's no paycheck in my mailbox when I get home tonight now. Since she feels I was the asshole in our conversation today she's going to get her wish tomorrow if there's no check.

Since I'm down to $17.00 dollars in my wallet and the need of gas and cigarettes are on the horizon I'll have to stop at my bank on the way to work to pull some money out of savings. I absolutely hate pulling money out of savings. I like money to stay there once I put it there. But I'm doing it, and I'm not going the direct deposit route now. If it's truly harder to process my paycheck for her I have no intention of making this bitches job any easier.

As I'm sitting here, getting more and more pissed, I know exactly what I'm going to do, even as much as it hurts to pull money out of savings I'm going to pull out $200.00 in cash. (I'm a big fan of cash availability.) I'm also going to transfer $2000.00 from savings to checking so that I can ride out any more crap like this in the future. (Should it occur again.)

And tomorrow, if there's no check, I'll be calling payroll with the boss present, with her and I on speaker phone, so he can hear this silly bitch rant and rave.

The saddest part of all this is I don't care if they screwed up and simply forgot to mail the damn check. I just want it mailed. Mistakes happen. Should this be the case and she simply forgot to mail it, she'll never admit to it though. She's not the type of person who admits to making a mistake in my opinion.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Maybe Being Shorthanded At Work Isn't So Bad

We've been without the (ex)Worthless Co-Worker for a little over two months now. The first month wasn't so hard to deal with, but the month of December sucked. Now that the Christmas shopping season is over this shorthanded gig is much more tolerable. While we still work two 12 hour days per week we at least get two days off per week. I think I only had two days off total in December.

The boss actually interviewed two people last week and seemed impressed with one of them. The first guy didn't stand a chance though and he was the only one I actually saw. Two things seemed to sink his chances. One being his age, he is older than the boss, which for some reason bothers the boss. The other is that the boss feels he'd be too much like me. I actually found that amusing. Apparently I'm not very "bossable" and the boss needs someone he can boss around.

The 2nd guy he liked. A young guy fresh out of college who is apparently very "bossable." I believe this guy will go through a phone interview with the district manager tomorrow and if he impresses him he'll get a job offer. It sounds like he can start mid January, so hopefully when February rolls around he'll be fully trained and we'll be back to a normal work schedule.

But as far as January goes, being shorthanded isn't necessarily a bad thing.

For you see January is a cold month.

My son and I like to fish. Actually I like to fish, my son is a fishing fanatic. A few years ago he embraced ice fishing, me, not so much. I resisted any and all attempts he made into talking me into ice fishing until last January. I only gave in then because the prior Christmas his gifts to me were all ice fishing equipment and his persistence had to be rewarded.

Now the kid had everything you could possibly need for ice fishing. A two-man shanty, a heater, more than enough fishing equipment, etc. My thought, at the time, was a heated shanty would probably be tolerable so we went fishing on a Saturday last January that I had off of work. Our work schedules don't mesh well for things like this. He has weekends off all the time, I usually have one weekend off a month.

But he was excited. He finally had talked the "old man" into ice fishing.

So the day we went ice fishing was cold. Cold as in 22 'effin degrees below zero. Needless to say dressing warmly was in order. And dressed warmly I was. We hauled all this crap out to this great fishing spot he had found.

Have I mentioned it was cold out?

I was freezing by the time we got to this hot fishing spot. I was still on board though and pretending to be a good trooper. I just knew once we got the shanty set up and the heater working I'd be warming up in no time at all. Yeah, not so much. That heater might have raised the temperature inside the shanty to 5 degrees below zero. I was miserable. That heater was basically useless.

By the time I got home I couldn't feel my toes, nor my hands. I literally cried with pain as I ran my hands under warm water to get what I suspect were frozen blood vessels flowing again.

The next day I went out and bought another heater for the kid for his igloo on sled rails. I did go one other time with him in February last year as well. The only difference was the temperature outside was almost 30 degrees above zero and we now had two heaters for the ice shanty. Much better experience, but ice fishing still isn't something I'm crazy about.

So now we're into January again, as in the coldest month of the year. And as you've probably guessed the kid wants to drag my ass out ice fishing again. He has compelling arguments, at least in his own mind. A new ice fishing shanty and a new heater which he guarantees will drive us out into the cold to cool off it works so well.

My reply to him was "It's a shame we're still shorthanded at work son. I don't foresee a weekend off until mid February." As I uttered those words I tried my best to look extremely sad. I'm not sure he bought into my act though. But I know I'm going to stay warm this January.