Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sometimes Stupid People Are Incredibly Close To Home

I had a post in mind for today about a stupid person. I thought about it off and on yesterday and had myself convinced to do it.

Even the best of plans change though. Oh, I'm going to write about a stupid person today, just not about the one I was thinking about yesterday. This one is all about me.

I'm a smoker. A smoker who lives in a smoke free building, which is alright with me. The building wasn't always a smoke free building but since the rebuild from the tornado of last spring it became one. Since I had to virtually replace all of my furnishings lost in the tornado I was all for a smoke free building. I figured since I had all new furniture there was no sense smoking inside and having the furniture smell like an ashtray.

I'm also an early riser in the morning for the most part. Sleeping until 5 am would be considered sleeping in for me and I'm often awake at around 4 am, or earlier, such as the case today. I crack open a Diet Coke for a little caffeine and then decide to slip out the patio door for a cigarette.

So far no problem.

45 minutes later I decide another cigarette would be a great idea. When I slipped out the patio doors earlier it was a bit chilly out, with a breeze blowing directly at me, and drizzling. I decided I should go outside one of the apartment building main entrances for this cigarette to stay out of the breeze and rain. A logical decision I thought on my part.

So that's what I did. I grabbed my lighter and a cigarette and headed out. As the door to the building clicked, and I mean audibly clicked, shut behind me panic set in. I was standing outside with nothing more than a cigarette and a lighter and no means to get back into the building at a little after 4:30 am. As I stood there smoking I contemplated my situation. I wasn't happy.

This building has a total of 24 apartments with only 6 of them occupied as of now. It's been slow filling up as it reopened apparently. I knew one person well though and her apartment was on the first floor and close to this exit. So I spent the next 45 minutes or so wandering around the building hoping to see a light on in one of the apartments that was occupied. Finally I saw a light, and in the apartment of a lady I've known for 7 years.

I went to her patio doors and knocked quietly and she heard the knock.

I was saved!!

And then not so much. I could see through the blinds that she was moving about her apartment, but not toward the patio doors.

Have I mentioned yet that the drizzle had turned into a steady rain as well? Yeah, my luck pretty much sucked this morning. But, it was going to get worse.

After knocking on her patio doors a few times and getting no result I commenced wandering around the building looking for another light on and another savior. No luck there.

A car then pulls into the parking lot on the other side of the building and I sprint around to that side thinking someone is finally home and I'm going to get into the building. It was the police, responding to a call from the lady I know, to an intruder at the building.

I've got to correct that sprint thing used in the previous paragraph. At my age a fast walk is considered a sprint. It's hell to get old.

I walk up to the police car and the first thing he asks for is some identification. Showing him my lighter didn't impress him much. I'm soaking wet, chilled, and a bad case of bed head matted down. To say the cop was skeptical of my claims of actually living in the building would be highly accurate.

The lady I know finally pops her head out her patio doors when she saw the police had arrived. The very first thing she uttered was a question to me. "Did you get woke up by someone trying to break into the building too?"

Um... no, actually. That person was me. I locked myself out of the building and saw you had a light on so I was just hoping to get back inside.

At least she had the decency to verify that I actually lived here and the cop lightened up considerably and I got back into the building. So today's stupid person is actually me. But I'm happily stupid, warmed back up, and in dry clothes so the day is starting to look up.


ChiTown Girl said...

Oh, that's priceless! It was the perfect way to start my day!

If that's not a sign that you need to quit smoking, I don't know what is!!!!

Gail said...

It is so refreshing to find people make mistakes, just like me.

Thanks for the laugh...I can see it clearly.

darev2005 said...

Glad to see that I'm not the only one who pulls boneheaded stuff like that now and then.....

The Blogger Formerly Known As said...

As a smoker myself, I can understand and sympathize. When you go out for that cigarette, the anticipated satisfaction takes priority. Keys and the like take a poor second place. Then again, I’m stupid as well.

Bouncin' Barb said...

OMG, if that ain't the worst way to start a morning! It's funny when you tell it but when it was actually happening I bet you wanted to cry and hide your head! Great post material though!

Dazee Dreamer said...

I'm really not laughing. Truly, you just think I am.

Gaijin Wife said...

I'm impressed the police got there so quickly. Good to know. Glad you're warmed back up. Wont be making that mistake again soon :)

The Reckmonster said...

Just wondering - if you saw her light on and she was up and about - why didn't you just ring the buzzer to her apt instead of knocking on the patio door? I would totally have been freaked out by someone knocking on my patio door too! Not that I'm trying to make you feel any more stupid...BAHAHAHAHAHA!