Life has many unwritten, and unspoken, rules. I'm going to discuss one of them today.
Many people have unwritten rules though. While they may be good rules they may only fit a specific issue, circumstance, or family. The rule I'm covering is a universal rule for the benefit of all parents. Before the unveiling of this rule a couple myths about rules need debunked.
1) Rules are made to be broken.
No they're not skippy. If a rule is a bad rule it needs to be simply changed or altered. The premise behind most rules are valid, at least at one time.
2) There are exceptions to all rules.
Why yes, yes there are. The problem most people have with this thought process is that they themselves feel they are the exception to a specific rule, or all rules for that matter. I'm here to tell you sport that you're not that special. If someone has failed to tell you this, let me be the first.
You're not that special. You have no special exemption to following rules.
Naturally there are a few valid exceptions to rules. Common sense dictates this. If I have to spell them out for you then you obviously need to follow rules in strict accordance. You're not bright enough to question any aspect of a rule. Look up Darwin's Theory then be thankful modern science/medicine has allowed you to survive as long as you have.
(See.... that's a perfect example of an exception to a rule. Some of you people would be dead if not for that exception to a rule.)
Anyway.
I have two children. The oldest is about a month from turning 27, the youngest turned 21 last May. Both received a refresher course of this unwritten rule the past two days. No matter the age of your children, their station in life, or possibly the fact they're a genius, this rule applies. (Any questions will be referred to items 1 and 2 of the debunking of rules myths.)
It's a simple rule as follows:
Parents are to be listened to at all times. We've earned this right and respect.
(Think about this for a second. Had we as parents, not bumped uglies, you wouldn't even be here.)
Now here's an important fact to remember about this rule. While you are required to listen, and listen respectfully, if you're of legal age you don't have to heed our words. But you're going to damn well listen. That's simply referred to as learning the hard way, in most cases.
I can honestly say I followed this rule, with the allowable exception to rules stated in item 2 of the debunking of rules myths. My mother was probably certifiably crazy. Years of spousal abuse and alcohol abuse had a hand in this. But she definitely earned the right to be listened to, and listened to with respect. Heeding her words at times, not so much.
But we're talking about normalcy here. You young whipper-snappers need to embrace this rule. Because for the vast majority of you, and heaven help us in some cases, you'll be parents one day yourselves. Keep that in mind. You don't have to wait that long to embrace and follow this rule. Because trust me, as a relatively normal parent, this is a rule you'll expect to be followed yourself one day by your children.
15 comments:
It is so brave of you to actually admit you are not normal only relatively normal.
I listened to everything my mom said. I often did not do what she told me I should do. I had moderate success with this but have to say I've never been arrested or terribly hurt.
Charlene -- Well, after some of the posts in here there's no way I could say I was completely normal, and get away with it. ;)
Now as a 28 year old I will admit to pretty much ignoring my parents. Mostly because every piece of advice they have given me as an adult has proven to be wrong. I listen to my step dad, mostly because he is hilarious to listen to because I think he's really crazy, but my mom? Meh. If I ask her for advice it's one thing because that's usually ok but her just giving it out? Means she's mad at me and nothing I say or do will be right anyways so don't bother. It's a fun relationship. Keeps everything lively I'd say.
Smart Ass Sara -- I'm assuming then you fall into the listening, but not heeding crowd then? ;)
I can proudly say that I listened and obeyed. It makes me expect no less from my children though.
My parents passed away just recently and I was heartbroken. And what comforts me the most is the thought that I didn't give them too much headache.
See this makes it so much more easier when you didn't and don't have parents to listen to. Haha! I was raised by a rout of snails, it was great!
michelle -- My parents are gone as well. I only produced minor headaches, or at least that's what I'm claiming. ;)
BeMistified -- Well, I guess you have to substitute snails for parents then? ;)
Yes, usually parents have our best interest at heart..but usually we don't listen, and realize that they were right later. If I could travel back in time and listen to their advice would I...No. I had to make my own mistakes...and learn that my parents were genius' on my own!
All I have to say to the little snits now is "I really hope you have children that are just like you." Ah, I'm a mean spirited old bastard, at times.
For as long as I can remember, my mother has turned to me for advice. "What should I do?" she wails. "Help me!" Considering that my birth father was basically absent until I was in my 20's and my step-father was disinterested until I was in my 30's, I basically raised myself. I listen to my parents, but I take my own advice. It's gotten me this far!
Being a bit of a rebel I have a problem with a lot of rules, but not this one. I can take the time to hear them out because as you said, they've earned it and heeding is another matter.
Problem is, I have a personal rule of my own that my father refuses to acknowledge much of the time. I don't listen to anyone that's talking to me like I'm stupid. As far as I'm concerned that falls under exceptions to the rule.
Ah but I see, you're talking about somewhat normal and I'm talking my family's dysfunctional ... carry on.
Re: Look up Darwin's Theory then be thankful modern science/medicine has allowed you to survive as long as you have.
You know I've often pondered how our 'advanced' civilization has sort of broken Darwin's 'Rule' in allowing such a vast population of morons to accumulate...you make an excellent point there.
here here. Now if only my four, two and one year old would listen!
Miss Melicious -- So you're saying you learned the hard way a few times? ;)
darev2005 -- I used to hear that line a few times myself when I was younger.
Sparkling Red -- I can see that. Listening doesn't necessarily involve heeding what's said.
Mustang Sally -- You got it! I simply expect my kids to listen, they're adults so heeding is up to them.
Sam -- Modern science/medicine has kept some people alive who would fail Darwin's Theory I'm sure.
gaijinwife -- If it's any consolation the little one's not listening usually don't end up to be as big a problem as the older ones.
Ooooo I'll be 27 next month too!
I always felt 27 was the unofficial 'adult' age but I think if I didn't have my own ankle biter I would still be swilling vodka and ignoring my parents. I don't think we appreciate how wise our parents are until we become parents ourselves and expect our own kids to listen to us!
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