Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Can't Even Escape From The Worthless Co-Worker On A Day Off

I was off yesterday. It turned out to be a beautiful Fall day here. The type of weather you could do almost anything in. I chose to get some much needed crap done around the homestead.

I even defrosted the refrigerator here. Apparently it's been a long time since I've done that. I have a chest freezer I use for my freezing needs and basically ignore the freezer compartment in the fridge. But it couldn't be ignored any longer as it was getting hard to close the refrigerator due to the expansion of an Arctic Ice Shelf that had formed in this compartment. So we commenced a thawing out process here, with much success I might add.

(And yes, you can now add my name to the list of people responsible for playing a role in global warming with the loss of this ice shelf.

And no ladies, even I don't wonder any more why I'm single.)

In the midst of the domestic crap I was taking care of the phone rang. Since I can multi-task I had no problem answering it. Much to my chagrin it was the voice of the Worthless Co-Worker. Naturally it's a conversation to be shared as follows:

Worthless Co-Worker: What are you doing?
Me: Why are you calling?
Worthless Co-Worker: I was just wondering what you're doing today. I'll bet you're golfing. You're golfing, right?
Me: No.
Worthless Co-Worker: No really, you're golfing right?
Me: No, I'm busy around home trying to get some stuff done.
Worthless Co-Worker: So when you're done you're going golfing, right?
Me: No.
Worthless Co-Worker: Seriously?
Me: Seriously. Now what do you really want?
Worthless Co-Worker: I can't believe you're not golfing. You always go golfing on your days off.
Me: Uh, no I don't and focus here Alicia, what do you want?
Worthless Co-Worker: I can't believe this.
Me: Even Tiger Woods doesn't golf every day Alicia. If he did he probably wouldn't have been banging half the women he did over the last couple of years causing his marriage to crumble.
Worthless Co-Worker: That's gross.
Me: By all accounts, some of them were. Now exactly why are you calling me?
Worthless Co-Worker: I just lost ten dollars is all. I can't believe you're not golfing.
Me: Bummer.
Worthless Co-Worker: I bet (store manager) that you'd be golfing today. He took me up on the bet. So now I'm out ten dollars.
Me: That changes things. Because there's ten dollars at stake I'm going golfing.
Worthless Co-Worker: Sure you are, now you're just teasing me.
Me: Nope, not even a little bit. I'm going golfing. I'll provide pictures if needed.
Worthless Co-Worker: You just made my day!!!!
Me: I'm happy to hear that. Can you put (store manager) on the phone?
Worthless Co-Worker: Are you going to rub this in?
Me: Oh yeah, there will be some definite rubbing in when this little shindig wraps up.

(Passing of phone occurs.)

Me: Hey, sorry to ruin your bet but I'm going golfing.
Store Manager: Aw, c'mon, do you really want her to win this bet?
Me: Just this one time yes.
Store Manager: I thought we were friends?
Me: We are. And since I know you pay your debts I had to do this. That silly little girl has owed me ten dollars for months. So let her know she won, but no money for her, because she owes me that money. We'll settle up tomorrow.
Store Manager: You should see her right now. She's dancing around the store, laughing, sticking her tongue out at me even.
Me: I'll let you decide how long you want to let her carry on before you drop this bomb on her.
Store Manager: You want to talk to her again?
Me: Nope.
Store Manager: You know, even though I'm losing out here, this is going to be worth it. I can't wait to tell her this.
Me: I knew you'd come around and see the benefit of this. See you tomorrow afternoon.

So, how many of you made ten dollars on your day off by simply putting in nine holes of golf?


Laura H said...

ah, you are so good, as soon as I see the caller ID from work I instantly ignore my phone. Though I think you should in-crue interest per day for your money!

Jane said...

Hillarious! What do you plan to do with your $10, other than wave it in worthless co-worker's face??


tiburon said...

That is pure brillz.

But honestly, Alicia needs a punch to the throat. And I know just who could deliver it.

ChiTown Girl said...

tee hee hee!!! I'm totally with tiburon. Remember, I'm from Chicago....does she have a favorite kneecap?

Just Plain Tired said...

Laura H -- I don't mind answering the phone when I see its work. It's usually the boss and the call isn't normally work related.

Jane -- I haven't thought about it, at least beyond the waving in face part yet. ;)

tiburon -- She's annoying for sure, not quite to the point of hitting though. ;)

ChiTown Girl -- Wow, you women are mean this morning. j/k ;)

BeMistified said...

Wow! I what the hell? I so would have WENT to work that day and ended up in jail, I would plead insanity though due to a worthless co-worker.

Congrats on the $10 though!

KLZ said...

That is one hell of a way to collect on a debt.

And being from Chicago as well, I do know a guy who knows a guy if you catch my drift...

darev2005 said...

I'll bet WCW is going to be pouting for days. You think well on your feet.

KlayeBlayk said...

Hahaha, that was really sly of you.

Anonymous said...

Well played!

I laughed out loud reading this.

Jessica B said...

Ha! That's awesome... you're so sly. :)

Alicia said...

I can't help but be overly annoyed by this girl sharing my name... Can we come up with a "stage name" for her when you talk about her? It's giving me a complex knowing that somebody is out there defiling the name Alicia...

Just Plain Tired said...

BeMistified -- I have to admit the comments from you women are strikingly more violent than I anticipated towards the Worthless Co-Worker. ;)

KLZ -- It's all about the money. ;)

darev2005 -- I'm counting on a good pout from her. :)

KlayeBlayk -- Us oldsters have to be sly at times. ;)

Another Day of Crazy -- It seems to have worked. ;)

Jessica B -- Sometimes you have to bring the sly card out, ya know.

Alicia -- It's a terrible thing to share this name isn't it? For you I'll try to simply refer to her as Worthless Co-Worker. I'm thoughtful like that, and stuff. ;)

Dazee Dreamer said...

but how awful that you get phone calls from worthless coworker at home. but loved what you did to get your money from her. Sounds like your boss is cool to work with

Just Plain Tired said...

Dazee Dreamer -- The calls from work don't bother me. Although it's usually the boss and it's rarely work related. He's a good guy actually.

Sparkling Red said...

I was going to say that this woman needs therapy, but she'd probably just drive the therapist crazy.

Just Plain Tired said...

Sparkling Red -- She'd drive a therapist crazy. Her sense of reality is non-existent.

Charlene said...

I think your co-worker is in love with you. Why in heck is she talking about what you are doing on your day off, otherwise?

London Is Cool said...

I love a story with a happy ending...and I would have loved to have seen Worthless Co-Workers face when she got the bad news...

Just Plain Tired said...

Charlene -- Perish that thought! Plus I'm old enough to be her dad, and she's a space case. (shudders at the thought)

London -- Happy endings are always sweet! ;)

Sarahf said...

Hahahaha! I love a Worthless Co-Worker story. I'd say you're smart to outwit her, but, actually, I don't think that's too hard. Spend your $10 wisely.

Scarlet Ily said...

Ooh, you're sneaky. Btw, I love the part where she says, "That's gross." lol

Great post!! :)

Just Plain Tired said...

Sarahf -- The majority of the $10 was spent on 2 large DQ blizzards for the boss and I. I think there was an element of wiseness involved there. ;)

Scarlet -- Thanks! ;)

Jean said...

How very clever of you!:-D)

Just Plain Tired said...

Jean -- I have my moments. ;)