While I didn't catch, or see the thief, I have the perfect visual of the miscreant. A wild-haired nicotine freak with hunger pains. Yesterday was one of the few times there were things in the car that were worth stealing. The items not stolen were a set of golf clubs in trunk, two packs of cigarettes in glove compartment, 12-pack of diet Coke, small bag of fishing lures worth $97.34 as per the receipt, and two new paperback books from Barnes and Noble.
What was taken? The car cigarette lighter and my lunch club card to Old Country Buffet. I drove home from work last night without the ability to light the cigarette dangling between my lips and the knowledge that lunch is now going to cost me an extra $1.00 every time I eat at the buffet.
A pretty miserable and tragic ride home and one which no one can possibly match the heartache I'm going through with the loss of those items. Don't even try try to top this with any tale of woe happening in your life right now. You'll just look silly and pathetic in any attempt to draw attention to yourself and take away the outpouring of sympathy I'm expecting to see for me in the comment section. You've got your own blog to beg for sympathy, so feel free to beg there for it.
(Now that reality is setting in, feel free to beg for sympathy for your tale of woe because you may actually get some sympathy. I'm expecting references to myself as being an idiot.)
My 22 month old granddaughter swears like a sailor.
She came running up to me this afternoon, thrust a hand in the hair, and shouted "Fuck!"
And then she did it again.
I'm saying "No, no honey, don't say that and let's put that sock on your foot you're carrying around. I'm going to have some words with your father when he gets home this afternoon from work about his language."
So she throws the sock at me, points at it, and shouts "Fuck!" once again.
Yeah folks, I am just that quick, nobody needs to be a smart ass and tell me they knew immediately what she was trying to really say. We all know you'd be lying anyway and any attempt to make me feel any dumber than I already feel would be a waste of time. I probably wouldn't get that quickly either.
My son gets home from work and I still feel it's my parental duty to chew his ass about his language anyway. What did I have to lose? After all I'm not very bright. He just laughed and asked how many times I had to put her socks back on her feet. He's a smart ass too.