The Love Of The Worthless Co-Worker's Life

The Worthless Co-Worker is in love and has a man in her life. Of course this man is someone whom she's never met though, but nevertheless she claims that they're spiritually married. They "met" on some whacked out, off the wall, and loony tune Christian site on the Internet, as well as on Face book about one year ago. Their relationship consists of text messaging, phone calls, snail mail, and Yahoo messenger.

Since she's not very bright one of the stupidest people I've ever met I learned long ago not to offer much of an opinion, or advice to her about this insane "relationship" as she's the type of person who has to learn everything the hard way. She's not smart enough to realize she should be running as fast as she can away from this guy. While I say very little about this to her myself, the boss is beside himself with her ignorance.

He's a pretty nice guy and likes to play the role of "lecturing dad" when it comes to her. I find this highly amusing since he's only 9 years older than her, and it's a waste of time. Her latest revelation has kicked his "lecturing dad" persona into high gear though. She's invited her "spiritual husband" up for Thanksgiving and apparently he's accepted the invite.

(And no, the boss doesn't want to get in her pants. He's happily married, almost sickeningly so, in some people's opinion. It's just the way he is and he hasn't had the opportunity to play "lecturing dad" at our location as often as he did at his last location before he transferred here a few years ago. The staff  he had there was a much younger group than he's had here over all.)

Saturday was a day of listening to them argue about her ignorance about this guy. Like every stupid person I've ever known she shares all details and revelations about this guy. Here, in no particular order, are the reasons she should be running away from this guy:

1) He lives in New Mexico, but all mail she receives from him seems to originate from Tennessee.

2) He has four children, three of which he claims aren't his naturally. (The Worthless Co-Worker feels it's so unfair that the legal system makes him pay child support for the "three that aren't his.") His story is that his ex-wife cheated on him. I've seen a picture of him, with all four children surrounding him. They're carbon copies of him. Exact. Carbon. Copies. All of them.

3) He has nothing to do with his children, which is a fact I do actually believe. His reasoning/justification for this, not so much. His explanation to the Worthless Co-Worker is that since he lives in New Mexico (with a crazy mail service from Tennessee, see item #1) and his ex-wife and children live in Tennessee he doesn't want to confuse the children by being a part of their lives. Naturally this is an accepted and quite plausible reasoning to the Worthless Co-Worker.

4) He's a world traveler. Even when he's in Japan, or Guam, as he's professed to be, all mail seems to still originate from Tennessee. Naturally this is another easily explained phenomenon. While he has nothing to do with his children he states he still gets along with his ex-wife. They get along so well that he first mails correspondence to the Worthless Co-Worker to his ex-wife, then the ex-wife mails it on to her.

5) The Worthless Co-Worker cannot call him. All calls have to originate from him. Oddly enough these phone calls always occur very early in the morning, or very late at night. Of course this is also easily explained as well. Since he's a "world traveler" with a crazy work schedule and life, he has told the Worthless Co-Worker if she calls him she may wake him up. Once again the Worthless Co-Worker sees the reasoning behind this as well. She'd feel horrible disturbing him because he "gets so little sleep."

6) The guy has three felony convictions. One for grand theft auto. (Naturally he was framed.) One for domestic abuse, again innocent as hell, and one which the Worthless Co-Worker hasn't shared as of yet. But she knows he's innocent and the legal system has unmercifully been unfair to him.

7) The Thanksgiving invite. Since he's a world traveler and his "company" is woefully behind on expense checks, he can't afford a hotel for Thanksgiving when he comes up here. (Along with the unfair child support as well.) So he's bunking with her apparently.

I think you folks get the picture and that's the intelligence she possesses. The boss and her argued all day long about this. My only input was to ask if she planned on bringing this fine specimen of a Christian out to meet us that weekend. I was told no. The boss and I are not "Christian enough" to warrant meeting him, as per her words.

Absolutely.