Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Before You Forget, You Better Write About It Post

I'm getting a bit forgetful.

Actually that's not entirely true. Males have the forgetful gene installed and wired at birth. It's a defense mechanism of sorts. It's used to irritate the female species in our lives.

Prior to falling ill early last week there were a couple of posts involving work.

One being the asshole customer who refused to accept the terms of our return/exchange policy.

The other involving the (ex)Worthless Co-Worker.

The asshole customer:

I predicted he'd be in within two days to make the purchase he refused to make during his illustrious demonstration of stupidity. He waited six days. Naturally I wasn't there to see it. The boss said the asshole didn't utter one single word throughout the transaction. Meh -- I don't have time for babies so I'm glad I missed it, somewhat anyway.

I did see him yesterday though as he walks the mall daily. I gave him a wave and smile. He started to wave back until he recognized who it was he was starting to wave back to. I think he hit himself in the balls when he jerked his hand back down.

The (ex) Worthless Co-Worker:

My forgetfulness isn't totally the reason for the delay in posting about her. I was hoping she'd pop back in because I didn't get to hear all of her sordid story when she came in originally to beg for her job back.

Her litany of complaints:

1) He sucks in bed. My only input here was to defend the guy. She didn't appreciate it when I told her perhaps he thought she had a dick. Usually there's sucking involved was my reasoning. My only other question was to ask her how long it took her to figure out that "he sucks in bed." Her reply was, "the very first day." Yup -- she did certainly crawl into bed with a guy she's never met in person before, on the very first day she met him.

2) He's not wealthy. She seriously bought into that line apparently. He promised to buy her a Lexus and she finally figured out that wasn't going to happen. (See next item, for further clarification.)

3) They met at a hotel, and they spent her first three days there because he wanted to make her arrival in New Mexico "special." This was first thought of, by her, as pretty special, and a sign of his wealth. On the fourth day he took her to his home. His home has wheels since it's a mobile home. So yeah, his wealthy status took a hit there. (Although I've heard the 1974 Marshfield mobile home was cutting edge in the day, apparently the original worn out orange shag carpeting turned her off.)

(Oh... and before someone decides to be offended... I really don't have anything against mobile homes, but residing in one doesn't shout out "wealth" to me.)

And no, she still hasn't run away from the guy at this point. Her reasoning involved thinking that since he's recently divorced this is just a minor setback. The mansion is still in play in her mind. (And probably the Lexus too, but that's just a guess on my part.)

4) Apparently he never answers his land line. His justification for this was because he didn't want to speak to anyone and take time away from spending time with her. This was naturally considered sweet at first, until she answered the phone at some point when he wasn't around. Hello. Bill collector here.

5) All of his friends are creepy and unemployed. Since he was off the entire time she was there I'm thinking he is as well. This part of the conversation was missed by me though. Damn customer's who wanted help interfered here.

So she finally fled and came back here. From what I've gathered not too much wiser though. She's going back online to meet her next "spiritual husband."

It's a shame she hasn't stopped back in though. Some of this is second hand information gathered from the boss. He's the one who got to actually talk to her and I was too busy to catch all of this tale of woe.

Maybe she'll stop back in some day, when we're not as busy the day she did last weekend. I'd certainly like that to happen because she's hilariously stupid and shares everything. My blog would appreciate it as she's been handy blog fodder. Time will tell I guess.  


Dazee Dreamer said...

I hope you are feeling better and I too hope she comes back in. Dumb.

Hey, did you ever come pick up the award I gave you?

Just Plain Tired said...

Dazee Dreamer -- I'm feeling much better!

And an award? For me?

How did I miss that?

I'll be fetching it soon, since I'm all for being awarded for my incoherency I spew here.

ChiTown Girl said...

Wow, that girl really is scary-stupid, isn't she? She's lucky she was able to leave unharmed. We all know this guy could have been an ax murderer. She's lucky all that happened was some bad sex. Although, who knows what kind of disease she may have picked up now. Ewww!

Gail said...

Glad you are feeling better.

Just had a real scary thought, you could be the next one she chooses!

darev2005 said...

I just had all sorts of evil thoughts and I think I'll just leave them alone. I'm sure many of them crossed your mind as well. I'll go behave myself.

Smart Ass Sara said...

I miss worthless ex coworker and her special brand of crazy. The fact that she really had no idea just blows my mind. Sad day.

Warren said...

I’m vicariously enjoying your experiences in the work force, especially since I’m retired and don’t have to deal with that crap anymore. My most serious problems these days are ice makers that refuse to make ice. See blog.

Reckmonster said...

Can't you convince boss-man to hire her in as "seasonal help" that way you have an "end date" to her annoying, worthless presence at the job - but just enough time to "catch up" on all of the juiciness that needs to be written about in your blog?! It would be like a special holiday gift for your readers!!

Shinade said...

I'm glad to know you're feeling better.

Thanks for the update on the runaway co-worker!!

As for customers, I know that scenario much too well having worked in commission sales for years when younger.

Hope you are having a good day today!!

Sarahf said...

Good grief! WCW is worryingly stupid. At least she provides entertainment. Glad you're feeling better.

Jean said...

Since I chose to live in a home (camper) with wheels for 9 years and am....well...older...and hope wiser..
my only advice is to keep writing!!!

Jane said...

I have missed hearing your worthless co-worker tales!