Monday, November 1, 2010

When In A Zone Doesn't Mean Actually Being In The Zone

I went to work yesterday expecting a mess. We had a promotion changeover and I knew the boss wouldn't have it wrapped up before I got in to work. But he did have much more done than I expected.

We had an enormous amount of things to toss out though, so I started bagging up crap to head to the dumpster.

On the second return trip from the dumpster I noticed a young mother with a baby in a stroller, and two toddler aged kids trailing behind her, heading to the mall entrance. She looked a little harried and as I approached her and the mall entrance I offered to get the door for her.

(And yes, I'm somewhat of a gentleman that way. As a bonus she was cute and I thought she might smell nice too, so in order to find out, holding the door seemed to be the best way to determine this.)

As I reached for the door I heard her say "Okay, great".... and I completely zoned out.

(This is a common phenomenon that happens to me and what can trigger it seems to vary wildly. My boss can be discussing some new policy, or work rule that I need to follow, or that I need to quit breaking and bam!.... I'm off in my own little world.

I'm off in La La Land wondering to myself when was the last time I took a piss. I then start to wonder if I need to take a piss. The answer is always no though. But I still have to determine exactly when the last piss occurred anyway. If it's been a sufficiently long enough time in the past I then pretend my bladder has super powers and no one on Earth has the bladder capacity I possess.

I then convince myself I can fly because somehow a full bladder induces levity powers. Then... well... I notice the boss is silent and just staring at me. I mumble that I need to take a piss and wander off to the bathroom to see if I can shake out a couple of drops.)

So yeah, it's not always okay and great being me.

Anyway, back to the door holding operation.

I heard those "Okay, great" words from her and I'm off and running a mental sprint of sorts. I know I'm staring at this girl, but not really seeing her. Those two words, "Okay, great" sounded off, somewhat tinny, and flat.

I wondered why didn't she just say thanks?

What does "Okay, great" really mean?

It didn't sound "okay" or "great" to me. I then tried to put myself in her shoes, mainly the ones pushing a baby in a stroller and two kids under the age of four at her heels. I can see where keeping eyes on this caravan could produce a less than stellar "Okay, great" sounding response.

But then I reconsidered. Maybe she's just exhausted and squeezing out those two words were an extraordinary effort for her. Perhaps, just perhaps, this was among the most "okay and greatest" of things ever performed for her. I was like some knight in shining armor and shit. She just couldn't properly convey it is all.

And then I had to reconsider again, because of that damn "knight in shining armor" thought. Maybe she thought she was royalty of some sort and I was a serf. I mean that "Okay, great" comment didn't sound particularly thankful or right to me anyway. It was just an obligatory remark to someone as lowly as me. She probably regretted saying it actually. I should have felt honored she chose to speak in my presence at all, her being so queenly and stuff.

And just as I was ready to consider another possibility the real world stepped back into play. She and the kiddies had gotten through the door, and she was staring at me and speaking to me. I then realized that her "Okay, great" comment had actually included a "thanks" at the end of it.

She had this strange look on her face and was asking me "Are you alright, mister?" Naturally the first thing that pops out of my mouth is "I'm fine, sorry about that, I've just got to take a piss."

To her credit she just nodded her head, then practically ran to get some distance between herself and me.

And dammit! While holding the door I was cognizant enough to verify she was cute but I don't really recall if she smelled nice. The best I can report is that she didn't smell bad. I'm sure I'd have picked up on that. Still a failure upon my part though.

25 comments:

Gail said...

Your work life is a continual adventure.

Just Plain Tired said...

Gail -- At times. ;)

Laura H said...

You're the best kind of crazy :)

Khaye said...

Hahaha!!! You're really funny!

Just Plain Tired said...

Laura H -- Well, crazy is best expressed at its best I guess. ;)

Khaye -- Well, I was hoping for a little funny here. :)

Dazee Dreamer said...

listen, you have got to start paying more attention when cute women are around. she could have just been the nanny!

Khaye said...

Sure glad the husband isn't around - if she's really the mother ^^

Just Plain Tired said...

Dazee Dreamer -- Now there's a thought.

Khaye -- If he had been around I'm assuming he'd have held the door, denying me my act of gentlemeness, and stuff. ;)

Francis Hunt said...

Okay, great!

Khaye said...

Ohhh, right! That would mean no fun. No blog post. And no "act of gentlemeness" would partake.

Just Plain Tired said...

Franci Hunt -- That it is. I was waiting for those two words to pop up in here. ;)

Just Plain Tired said...

Khaye -- I'd imagine there would have been a post, just not this one. ;)

Khaye said...

That post wouldn't be better. I love the revelation of you being a gentleman. Haha!

KLZ said...

You held the door, and that's a win.

I say that as a mother of just one child who quite frequently can't corrale him enough to open a door with any grace.

Just Plain Tired said...

Khaye -- One never knows. ;)

KLZ -- No one to lose their graceful look when passing through a door. (and those damn doors are heavy)

darev2005 said...

Chivalry isn't really dead, but it has severe bladder control problems.

Just Plain Tired said...

darev2005 -- Absolutely, and stuff. ;)

Jessica B said...

LOL - regardless of the zoning, still a very gentlemanly thing to do! :)

Christy said...

Ba hahaha, this post had me laughing like a Snoopy type laugh. You know the kind where his nose goes up int he air and he starts hopping around and grabbing at his stomach for air.

Warren said...

Great post and blog. Anyone that likes John Sanford is ok in my books. I'll be back.

blueviolet said...

Nobody thinks like you do and I love it! I just have to believe that she is untrained in the proper intonation to use with the happy "ok great" exclamation she was really trying to express!

Mustang Sally said...

I hate to be the one to point this out but "in a zone" and "zoning out" are not exactly the same thing lol. Ah, but it happens to all of us sometimes.

And some of us of the female persuasion still really like the gentlemanly thing.

Sarahf said...

Heh heh. You are funny! And a gentleman, great combination.

Sandra said...

well, I'm going to take a wild guess that she didn't smell like baby vomit, which is a point for her.
And yes, maybe she's completely exhausted, and "Ok, great," is all she can muster.
Maybe you should have asked her out. Maybe she would have said, "Ok, great."....

gaijinwife said...

had that been me you would have been more likely to get a 'arigato', kamnisamidaaaaaaah or a gin induced 'cheers mate'.

I'm sure she appreciated it. Navigating pram and small person on each leg difficult. Would be surprised if the woman remembered to put nice smells on before leaving the house. Christ, sometimes it's all I can do to remember to brush my teeth.

:)