Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Most Interesting Man In The World Indeed

I'm sure all of you a lot of you a few of you have seen the commercial touting "The Most Interesting Man In The World", at one time or another. He's schilling for some type of beverage I'm pretty sure. Wine or beer is my guess because the actual marketing message is lost to me.

Don't get me wrong, the commercials are somehow compelling to me. But not so far as the product the company is trying to promote. (For all I know the shit he's trying to get you to buy is liquid Ex-Lax.)

You have this old bearded dude generally sitting in a bar booth flanked by two hot young chicks hanging on his every word. That's what fascinates me quite frankly.

I think I could do that, sans the grey beard, and if I wanted to spend the money to get two hot young chicks plastered enough to hang all over me and listen to me spout a couple of pithy comments, thought up by a marketing team.

I think I could pull off being mysterious, interesting, and pithy under those circumstances.

(And, oh yeah, those chicks would have to be really effin drunk too.)

Until I thought about it a little more anyway. Now I'm just a little depressed quite frankly. I possess no mystique, at least locally. I've become embarrassingly mundane and predictable.

I pop into Kwik Trip every day on my way to work to feed my nicotine habit. Until I saw these "Most Interesting Man In The World" commercials I was impressed that I could saunter up to the counter and all I heard was "that'll be $7.28 JPT." They already knew what I wanted, the right brand, and (now) annoyingly, they had the correct change ready for me. (Apparently I always hand over a ten dollar bill.) They had this sale rung up before I could open my mouth. Nothing mystique about this at all.

My kids can approach me with any problem they have in the world. And I'm there for them, ready to do battle, sort out the problem, and steer them in the right direction. But that isn't what they really want. They just want to share the problem. When I open my mouth to offer up my worldly wisdom I get shut down with "We already know what you're going to say dad." Again, my mystique has been lost and beaten into submission.

My boss doesn't even bother to tell me about new policies or work place rules any more. Apparently he knows exactly whether they're rules I'm going to follow, or ignore, ahead of time. He doesn't want to waste his time any more, or possibly mine. The possibility also exists he doesn't want the aggravation of wasting his breath. Whatever the reason, I'm once again far too predictable.

I can't even get the grocery store cashier to ask me "paper or plastic" any more upon checking out. I know they used to though. Now they just throw my shit in plastic bags and take my money. I'm a little conflicted on this one though. When they used to ask I'd get that "deer in the headlights look" and mumble and stammer, and finally ask "Uh, what's the correct answer here?" That may have become a tad tiring to them, but again no mystique involved.

So a few changes are in order here. The mystique which has apparently fled my persona has to be recaptured.

Deciding where to start is a bit perplexing. Do I go all in or just phase in some changes?

I'm inclined to start with the grocery store, mostly because I'm going to have to buy some groceries some time today, or go hungry.

So when "Skippy" the l'il bagger boy starts to throw my crap into plastic bags I'm going to have to bring that to a halt. But going to paper isn't exactly exciting, or mysterious. That just won't do. That guy is going to have to find some burlap bags to make me happy.

Baby steps people, baby steps.


Mustang Sally said...

You could go for the gusto and maybe try a different store - or bring your own bags, the cloth recyclable kind.

Gail said...

It is easier for me to remain in my rut than to climb out for variety.

Charlene said...

It's the difference between being the Don Quixote type man and playing one. You are the hero who helps his family and friends, and even boss. They come to you because you help.

The guy in the beer commercial is a 65+ retired guy who spends his time in bars drinking and buying drinks; smiling a lot and not saying anything. The women write their own script and imagine him to be the mystical man who is a stud in bed and rich. He's just a slightly older white guy who had enough pension money to buy beer. He never takes anyone home and does anything as buying beer and not talking is his persona.

ChiTown Girl said...

As someone who doesn't do well with change, I see nothing wrong with being predictable. Old habits die hard, you know. You are obviously dependable and reliable. I would rather know what to expect from a person, than spend my time wondering what's coming next. But, that's just me...

Smart Ass Sara said...

If you make a ton of changes at once...people might think you're on the edge of dementia. But that might be ok too..

darev2005 said...

You've got the sense of humor to use it to break them out of their ruts as well. At the gas station give them $22.17 instead of a ten. Rewrite the rules at work and leave them for your boss to find. Throw in some zingers. Take a thimble to the grocery store and say "Put them all in here, Skippy!" It's not hard to change. It just takes effort. You're more interesting than you think. Why else would we all be here every day?

FallDown Girl said...

You need to MacGuyver a bag. Right there at checkout! Using whatever is handy. Possibly the cashier's smock/apron. And twist some of those plastic bags into a handle. That'll work. You'll be all full of mystique and stuff!

KLZ said...

I don't really see any problem in being predictable. If you know what you like, why push it?

blueviolet said...

Oh yeah, you really do need to ramp up the mystique!

Just Plain Tired said...

Mustang Sally -- Those are viable options. ;)

Gail -- Where's your sense of adventure? ;)

Charlene -- Your definitely a voice of reason, and I should probably listen to you as well. ;)

ChiTown Girl -- So in other words I'm old and boring? ;)

Smart Ass Sara -- I think some people already think that. ;)

darev2005 -- Now those are embraceable ideas! ;)

FallDown Girl -- lol -- Good idea!

KLZ -- Oh, I still know what I want, and want to get what I want, just not predictably, and stuff. ;)

blueviolet -- I knew you'd understand! ;)

Warren said...

I don't know about predictable but sometimes I envy your position on smoking. I loved those damn things. As one comedian said, "I'd smoke chains if I could light em'."

Miss Melicious said...

It depends on what you want the end result to be.

If you just want to change it up a bit and make it so you aren't quite predictable...change one thing a day...but it has to be one thing that you always do the same. Ask for Paper bags instead. Then the next time go plastic. Or order a weird coffee (if you are one of those coffee ordering type folk)

If you really want to throw them off the path. You need to get a whole new wardrobe...grow a moustach, bleach your hair...wait a second, they'll think you've lost it!

Anonymous said...

I think you should break out speaking in a British accent, or Southern Drawl at the store while getting the ciggies. See what kind of looks you get. :)

Dazee Dreamer said...

I just know you can pull it off too. Asking for burlap bags. yup. I want video.

you could throw the dude off at the cigarette store by just asking for half a pack. :)

Sam said...

You could really screw them up and go for paper and plastic at the same time. And also wear a hat of some sort. People who wear hats are always mysterious. Do that!

Just Plain Tired said...

Warren -- Thanks, I think. I'm not sure what my position is though, I just smoke 'em.

Miss Melicious -- Well, the end result should never change, just the process. ;)

Another Day of Crazy -- Now there's something to try!

Dazee Dreamer -- I knew you could come up with good suggestions!

Sam -- Hey! I think I've got a hat around here somewhere. ;)

Mizé said...

One word for that: routine. Old boring routine.
Think positive, you haven´t lost your good sense of humor!
Really enjoy reading your posts and laugh a lot with some of the things you write.
And if you´re bored of your routine, you can change it for sure... just set your mind to it.
All the best,

Just Plain Tired said...

Mize -- Sometimes boring is good I guess. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Much appreciated.