Tuesday, November 23, 2010

No Thanks, Black Friday Comes Early Enough As It Is

The mall marketing manager was making the rounds Monday at work trying to start a movement to get some of us to open earlier than, five-fucking unbelievably too early to pander to assholes sheep who should still be in bed am, on Black Friday.

I've never liked this woman. I can now say she doesn't like me as well.

Much to her dismay I was the only person available in our store for her to speak with about her latest "Great Idea."

Our mall has five anchors. They call all the shots and the smaller stores have to go with what they want for opening and closing hours. Never mind that those hours do nothing good for the smaller stores, it's all about lining their pockets.

Here's our discussion:

Mall Marketing Manager: Hi! Is (store manager) around?
Me: Nope. He's gone for the day.
Mall Marketing Manager: Oh no. I wanted to talk to him about Black Friday.
Me: He'll be in tomorrow, all day as a matter of fact.
Mall Marketing Manager: I was hoping to get a decision today about an idea I have for Black Friday.
Me: Maybe I can help, what's up?
Mall Marketing Manager: As you know, two of our anchors are opening at 4:00 am and I want to get as many other stores as possible in the mall to do the same thing.
Me: I can definitely help you there. We don't need (store manager) for this decision since I'm the one who's opening the store that day.
Mall Marketing Manager: That's great!!
Me: Ah, not so much.
Mall Marketing Manager: What do you mean, not so much?
Me: We're not opening even one second before 5:00 am.
Mall Marketing Manager: You do realize that the mall anchors have the final say in mall hours.
Me: Yup. But I also know it takes a majority vote among the five of them for this to happen. Only two are opening earlier than 5:00 am. The other three are opening at 5:00 am, so the answer is no. You wouldn't be running around the mall trying to drum up support for this had even one more decided to open earlier. You'd have just sent one of your lovely memo's ordering this.
Mall Marketing Manager: Maybe I should just call (store manager.)
Me: Feel free to do that. But he also knows who's opening the store here. Quite frankly he knows if he were to agree to this insanity he'd be the one to have haul his sorry ass out of bed, instead of me, to open up. And that isn't going to happen. Trust me.
Mall Marketing Manager: How about if I appeal to your Christmas spirit?
Me: You, and I mean you specifically, lost that three weeks ago.
Mall Marketing Manager: What?!?
Me: I heard the first Christmas song blaring over the mall music system on November 1st. The same music system you have control over. So we've had three weeks of non-stop Christmas music so far. I'm already sick of it. The same Christmas music you insist on playing well into January as well.
Mall Marketing Manager: The stores on both sides of you are going to open early. Do you know how silly it's going to look when your store is dark, and not open? 
Me: I have no idea. I don't plan on being here to see it. Of course since I'm closing Wednesday I could leave all the lights on if that would make you happy. Be kind of a waste of energy though.
Mall Marketing Manager: You should show some more support to the mall.
Me: Our support involves paying the lease every month. You don't want to go there, trust me.
Mall Marketing Manager: Why?
Me: You've been here for about a year and a half. You pale in comparison to the lady you replaced as far as marketing goes.
Mall Marketing Manager: I don't have to listen to this! I don't work for you.
Me: Personally I don't care if you listen to me. But you're wrong about who you work for. You work for every store who pays their lease here. Honestly, you're the butt of many jokes in the mall. No one thinks you you've been a good replacement for the lady who retired last year.
Mall Marketing Manager: Don't think for a minute I'm not going to talk to (store manager) and the mall manager about you! You have a horrible attitude. 
Me: Fine.

And off she went.

I was expecting a phone call this morning from the boss. He waited until late this afternoon to call me about this. Apparently this young lady went to the mall manager and told him that I should be fired, and that he needed to choose between the two of us.

Never mind the fact that I don't work for the mall manager.

Apparently this had to be explained to her as well. So she's kind of bummed out.

My boss, who thankfully puts up with my shit, is actually happy about this. He's been frustrated with her because he's the one who has to deal with her when it comes to marketing ideas and promotions. This little confrontation between her and I actually got the mall manager, who she does report directly to, to tell her that he's not happy with her performance either. (Finally.)

So there's that I guess as a silver lining when it comes to my "horrible attitude."

Hey guys, I want to wish each and everyone one of you a great Thanksgiving. I know it's a little early for that but Wednesday involves a 13 hour work day and Friday I'll be up at 3:30 soul sucking am for the Black Friday insanity. So I'm not going to have much free time between now and the end of the weekend honestly.  


gaijinwife said...

Good luck for the next few days. And so does having to get up at half three mean you DO have to open at 4am? That is fuckin insane. Who goes shopping then? I hope she's going to be there as well? Personally I liked the idea of leaving the lights on all night :)

Reckmonster said...

You're such a rock star at delivering bad news!! You make it fun! (at least for us, your readers!) snicker snicker

Hope you have a wonderful day with your daughter on Thanksgiving. And hope your sanity remains intact on Friday!!

Dazee Dreamer said...

You have a good time with your daughter!!!

And kudo's to you. I'm going to be just like you when I grow up.

MysteryChick said...

You do NOT suffer fools lightly and I love to read about it.

I'm truly sorry you have to deal with that Friday insanity. I hate rude people so Black Friday is movie marathon day for me and the kiddoes. I refuse to contribute to that craziness.

Sarahf said...

Remind me never to have a dumb idea in your presence! But tell me, who goes shopping at 4am?! Drive carefully and have fun with your daughter.

Charlene said...

The perky 24 year old marketing manager should open her own store and have the thrill of making payroll and being successful. I figure it would tamp down that attitude of hers.

Just Plain Tired said...

gaijinwife -- I need to get up at 3:30 to grab a shower, drive 25 minutes, park a long ways away because the mall doesn't want us parking close so that (heaven forbid) shoppers have to walk far, walk for 10 minutes, and be at the store by 4:30 to start the opening process. Can't just get there right at 5 am and be ready for business, unfortunately.

Reckmonster -- I'm just straight with people. I don't raise my voice or anything like that. Just tell 'em what I think basically. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing my daughter!

Dazee Dreamer -- You want to be a grumpy old man when you grow up? ;)

MysteryChick -- Well, some would say I'm the fool at times. ;)

Sarahf -- You wouldn't believe the number of people who will be milling around the mall waiting for it to be open. I'll get there 1/2 prior to opening and still have to park 6-8 blocks away because of the crowd.

Charlene -- Exactly. She has no real experience to draw from.

Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving (despite the hell that is Black Friday.) Have a safe drive, and hope you get *some* sleep before you open at 5am!

Just Plain Tired said...

Another Day of Crazy -- Thank you, and you have a great Thanksgiving too! I should get enough sleep, I plan on being up very early on Thursday, so I should be able to get to bed fairly early that night.

ChiTown Girl said...

JPT, you are a freakin' riot!! I can NOT believe that some 24 yr.old has the balls to try and tell you that you don't know what's YOU'RE doing! WTF?!

I wonder if your favorite PITA mall-walker will visit you at 5am on Black Friday....let's hope so, cuz it'll be a great story for you to share with us! haha!

Have a wonderful time with your daughter. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Lauren said...

Have a great Thanksgiving with your daughter!

Gail said...

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with our daughter.

I am very proud of your ability to stand up for yourself...I am also very amused with the way you do it so I will keep returning...you are a joy to visit.

Just Plain Tired said...

ChiTown Girl -- Have a great Thanksgiving! I'm sure this market manager will probably ignore me from now on.

Lauren -- I'm planning on it. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

Gail -- My 1st thought is I have a daughter I'm unaware of? But then I quickly have deduced you meant to put a "y" in front of "our." I was scared far a second though. ;)

Have a super Thanksgiving!

Anita said...

You have the right title for your blog! And you crack me up. lol

I left the corporation 16 years ago, but still have memories of people that I had to seriously plucked my nerves.

EnJoy your family visit and Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

Ps. I'll be asleep at 4 am., 5 am too.

Anita said...

Oops, seems I added a couple extra words.

Internation Musing said...

Love your straight outspoken 'manners'.)
Enjoy your days!

ChiTown Girl said...

I meant the cranky old man (mall-walker from hell!) not the little teeny-bopper. :)

What prompted you to change your photo? Did you draw that?

Just Plain Tired said...

Anita -- Thanks! You and your family have a great Thanksgiving as well.

Internation Musing -- Thanks. Straightforward is always best to me.

ChiTown Girl -- Jackie (a friend) told me I should change the picture since I blog a lot about work. Probably a good idea I figured and this is the avatar I use for Entrecard. And no, I can't draw a stick person. It's a google image I found.

Silvergirl said...

happy thanksgiving to you and your family.

Gail said...

I never come back and look for answers to my comments but today since I am cursing you with an award...I did and I am so glad! I laughed my butt off(I wish) but I did laugh. I know I have been forgetful but not that forgetful!!!

Hey, maybe I have supplied blog fodder for you!!! You are welcome to expound on the awfulness of awards and the pitfalls in failure to proofread.

Yes, YOUR daughter! Happy Thanksgiving. I must proof read my comments more often.

The Blogger Formerly Known As said...

I envy your ability to be direct and honest with people. Maybe when I’ve read enough of your posts it’ll rub off on me.

Have a great time with your daughter :)
The enigmatic, masked blogger

darev2005 said...

I don't envy you that job, hoss. I don't deal with people well. That's why I work in a place where I can smack them if it becomes necessary. Take some good notes. And give your daughter a hug from all of us.

Steph said...

Good for you for putting her in her place. What a bummer that you have to deal with that insanity on Black Friday. Too bad you can't call in or something.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nezzy said...

Love your name, this Ozark Farm Chick feel 'Just Plain Tired' at the end of most days!!! I hopped over from Miss Gail's and am so glad I did.

Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving from the beautiful hills and hollers of the Missouri Ponderosa!!!

Miss Melicious said...

Well you have a great Thanksgiving too...(mine was technically over a month ago...us damn Canadians).

Another great post about the idiots around us! haha! I swear they're everywhere!

Kelley said...

You? A bad attitude? I don't see it in your blog. I like your attitude. You are just outspoken. My husband always says if he doesn't say something, no one will. I'm sure your boss is glad you said something. Happy Thanksgiving!

Alicia said...

Happy Thanksgiving! Good luck on Friday. I will be one of the crazies out buying stuff so wish me luck on not getting trampled!

CrunchyVTMommy said...

I love your horrible attitude. I am pissed on your behalf that you have to work but hope you have an awesome thanksgiving.

Greg said...

I work at a major retail giant..I've been there seven years, we've had to go in earlier and earlier. This year after working most of today, great holiday, I have to be there at 1:30 in the morning.

Frankly all this crap is ridiculous..

End black Friday!

Scotty's Princess said...

She's too young to know what she's suggesting. You know a helluva lot than her. No educational attainment can ever beat decades of experience.

Hope you had a great time with your daughter. That was such a tight sked.

All the Best,