Friday, November 12, 2010

If Only Muslim Extremists Had A Therapist

Catchy title, huh?

I'm sure this post is going to offend some anal retentive type person. Just a word to take note of in the title:


Anyway, on to my offending way.

You Muslim Extremists, or Islamic Terrorists if you prefer, are really a bunch of dysfunctional dimwits. If your beliefs and actions weren't so damn appalling they'd be laughable. You are the most insecure segment of the human race possibly. No doubt your lack of intelligence and your upbringing has a lot to do with it.

Seriously I can see some reasons why you're so fucked up. Not necessarily to the point of your violent beliefs though. A blind man can see plenty of things that would rob the male species of your culture of any brains and hope for any semblance of a normal life.

One example is the turban, or whatever that thing you wear on your head is actually called. Smothering a brain that is clearly as deficient as yours is never a good idea. Plus you guys seem to wear this on blazing hot days, trudging through the desert, planning your next act of terrorism. I guess no one has told you that hats hold heat in. Your brains have to be fried.

You also dress like a girl. Those robes can't do much for the male psych I'd imagine. Grow a pair of balls and put on some pants. Maybe if you'd quit dressing like a girl you wouldn't have the overwhelming urge to perform violent acts to prove your manhood.

And your intelligence? Simply laughably sad. Who really thinks becoming a suicide bomber is a good career enhancer? You die, killing innocent people, you morons. Who in their right mind straps a bomb to their chest and thinks that's a wise move?

And you know what?

Let me fill you in on a little secret.

There aren't any virgins waiting for you, much less forty of them, when you die. Your inability to get laid on Earth isn't going to make a difference in death. You know, take off the dress, and maybe you would get laid while you're alive and the promise of sex with another corpse, or forty of them, for that matter, wouldn't seem so appealing to you. If you need laid that bad I'll give you a few bucks for a prostitute, or a camel.

Stupid bastards anyway.


Gaijin Wife said...

oooohhhh, what spurred that on? Fighting fire. camels - giggle giggle.

Alpha Za said...

haha, wow. I'll chip in a few bucks for the prostitute and the hooker too.

Plus I'll get Nike to develop some comfortable head gear and robes. Some viagra probably wouldn't hurt them either.

Khaye said...

Hahaha! Why, oh why JPL!!! Too much work gave you too much stress - enough to be pissed off with everything, huh?! Poor Muslims ^_^

Just Plain Tired said...

Gaijin Wife -- Just the absurdity of this crap spurred this on.

Alph Za -- Atta boy. We'll get them laid and maybe they'd chill out a bit.

Khaye -- Not pissed actually. Just my thoughts abut them.

Nakamuras on Saipan said...

Actually- I agree with what you said. Every time I think about my beautiful daughter having to be deployed to "their" country I want to spit fire. If it weren't for these folks my daughter and thousands of other 'sons and daughters wouldn't be putting their lives on the line. I don't care if I offend. When I read what they say about "us" I really don't care about offending them.

I'm with you "bro".

Just Plain Tired said...

Nakamuras on Saipan -- In this case, offending someone isn't too high on my list of things I care about today.

The Blogger Formerly Known As said...

Of course, I’m sure you won’t need it after this, but I hear Salman Rushdie’s old bodyguards are still looking for work.
The enigmatic, masked blogger

Sarahf said...

You have a point, JPT, you really do.

Anonymous said...

Since when IS offending someone high on your list of things to worry about? ;)

Tis the joy of blogging... the ability to say whatever is on your mind. The Constitution is still good for THAT. For now, anyways.

Just Plain Tired said...

TBFKA -- Nah, after all, I offered to pay so they could get laid. ;)

Saraff -- Not always the best point, but I try. ;)

Just Plain Tired said...

Another Day of Crazy -- Well, yeah, sorta. If someone actually does get offended by anything I say or do, I don't sweat it too much. ;)

Steph said...

Haha... when my husband was in Iraq his mom emailed him and among other things asked him if he saw any kids over there. He said, and I quote, " hell no there are no kids here i hope these Fucks dont reproduce. they look retarded and smell funny" I saved that email and whenever I need a good laugh I go and read it. Actually I posted it once. Here it is:

darev2005 said...

There you go. What could I say after that? As far as I'm concerned, we could leave them to their pitiful scrap of worthless desert and go about our own lives. If they do anything monumentally stupid we have missiles that can be launched from 1000 miles away and none of our people have to get hurt.

MichelleLCSW said...

Oooh! Ooooh! [waving hands in the air like an annoying kindergartener with 'the answer' waiting to be called on] Let ME be the therapist! I have some "unorthodox" methods to use...

Dazee Dreamer said...

yeah, what you said!!!

Mrs Midnite said...

Extremists from any part of society are a dodgy bunch. When it comes to the 40 virgins I like to think they will all be Susan Boyle types, or perhaps very old, very Christian nuns.

Dork said...

Actually their headgear and robes are adaptive and have little or nothing to do with manhood or Islam. Their garb is mostly about tradition and climate, so ragging on it is just self indulgent, doesn't really advance your point.

Focus on the fundamental stupidity of Jihadist extremists and how little they really know about Islam. Yes they are stupid -- in that I am with you in total agreement.

Just Plain Tired said...

Steph -- I had a younger brother in Iraq in 91, he said the same thing.

darev2005 -- Accept we don't always launch those missiles, we send in troops.

MichelleLCSW -- I actually thought of you when I was writing this. ;)

Dazee Dreamer -- Yup. ;)

Mrs. Midnite -- Poetic justice? ;)

Dork -- I think the fact that they dress in robes could very well be a good point. As stated, maybe they'd feel more manly in pants and wouldn't want to blow up shit.

Sandi said...

I never get why people think getting laid in the afterlife will be the same as it is here. Their um...body parts are all blown up here on earth. lol :D